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 2008 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

Come and Ride the McCain Train, Choo Choo!

Normally, I do not write political satire, but I thought it might be a good distraction to all the awful things going on in the world today. Hope you enjoy it. ~Steve

 

Republican candidate: John McCain

Democrat candidate: Barack Obama

Moderator: Steve Kay

 

Me: Senator McCain, do you believe your age is a factor in this year's presidential race?

McCain: I'm not as old as you think.

Me: Just how old are you?

McCain: I'm older!

Me: Some say you're out of touch with the younger generation, your response?

McCain: No, I don't think so. I can relate to the youth of today.

Obama: Okay, what is Wii?

McCain: That's 1002 in Roman numerals.

Me: Senator McCain, can you comment on Title IX?

McCain: Although I live in Arizona and I am a Phoenix Suns fan, I think Phil Jackson and the Lakers have a good shot at title nine.

Me: Huh? Okay, what about Myspace?

McCain: I believe everyone has the right to their own personal space.

Me: How would you respond, Senator Obama?

Obama: Myspace? You should ask former president Bill Clinton what "space" he was in when he, "Did not inhale."

Me: Senator McCain, the polls indicate you are far behind in Michigan, what do you plan to do to turn the tide?

McCain: I have launched a new advertising campaign called the McCain and McWheelchair plan--- It will appeal to seniors and the disabled.

Obama: Senator, don't forget your McWalker!

Me: Senator Obama, do you believe race is an issue in the U.S.?

Obama: Oh, hell yes! Have you seen a NASCAR race? There are millions of race fans in America. I would be a fool not to campaign for them.

Me: What is your platform?

Obama: Guns n' Grits!

McCain: Excuse me! Excuse me! My press secretary just handed me a note that I would like to share with the youth of America.

Come on ride the McCain train hey ride it woo woo

Come on ride the McCain train hey ride it woo woo

Come on ride the train woo woo hey

Ride it woo woo

It's the choo choo ride it

Come on ride the McCain train hey ride it woo woo

 

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

I think I can, I think I can

I think I can, I think I can

 

Way out west, where we play this game

It's the GOP, you and me

We call it the McCain train

So if you wanna ride the GOP thing

Just come on down the McTrain

 

I wanna take you to D.C. with me, to be in da house, you can see

And I wanna see you vote it, c'mon just promote it

And please don't knock it, until you ride it

So to all the guys and girls, you know, I'm calling your name

Wanna ride the McTrain, ride it now! 

 

Me: Isn't that the Quad City DJ's, C'mon ???N Ride it song?

McCain: I am trying to reach the hip-hop crowd.

Me: Just like when you were reaching out to little girls when you played John Mellencamp's "Pink Houses?"

Me: Senator Obama, your wife Michelle was in the news yesterday, reportedly calling a white reporter a derogatory term at a news conference, your thoughts?

Obama: Oh no! Obama's baby mama causing drama? What did she say?

Me: Let's move on... Senator Obama, what is your stance on Urban Affairs?

Obama: Urban Affairs? I dislike it. I feel that there are far too many inner city children born out of wedlock. Men and women should remain more committed to one another. 

Me: Senator McCain your position on Roe v. Wade?

McCain: I hate to say it, but I don't know who this Roe guy is, but he sure is going to have his hands full trying to guard Dwayne Wade.

Me: Senator McCain your final thoughts.

McCain: I like to quote Van Halen.

 

               Got to turn, c'mon turn this thing around

               Right now, hey

               Its your tomorrow

               Right now

               C'mon its everything

               Right now

               Catch that magic moment, do it

               Right here and now

               It means everything

 

Me: Okay, Eddie! Rock on.  

Me: Senator Obama, last question. What would you say to America on why they should vote for you?

Obama: Once you go Barack, you never go baack!

 

Copyright 2008 Steve Kay

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