I need help. I'm sure there are many others out there like me.
Do you find yourself watching baseball games and trying -to no avail- to make yourself care about them? Do you go onto the 'NFL' and 'College Football' and 'NBA' pages of SI.com every day, only to see that they are the same as yesterday (and the day before, and the day before that)? Do you find yourself actually paying attention to Paris Hilton's prison plight?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have Off-season-itis. I myself am a sufferer of this disease.
Humans, as a species, need to consume entertainment. Our thirst is growing larger and harder to satisfy with each new generation. And for those of us who put a good portion of our entertainment consumption in the sports world, summer is when Off-season-itis flares up.
The NFL bolts to its offseason, leaving us with only news about another player arrest every week or so. It was spicy at first, but now that even backups like Dolphins DT Fred Evans are joining in on the chaos, it's lost alot of it's intrigue. And if I have to read another word about Mike Vick's dogfighting, I'm going to pick out my eyes.
College football ends with the anticlimactic BCS championship game, and because there are no trades, free agent signings, or drafts, the sport virtually disappears until September. And then we're supposed to care about National Signing day, which is similar to the fourth round of the NFL draft in that we've never heard of this player, but the guy on ESPN is telling us he'll "really stretch the field."
And the NBA, which isn't even that great anymore during it's season, jumps right into its draft, which didn't interest me in the least. The typhoon of rumors about KG, Shawn Marion, Amare Stoudemire, and Kobe Bryant were all actually getting me a little excited, but of course none of it happened, and it looks like they're all staying put. Isn't the status quo fun?
So now we're left to watch baseball's repetitive marathon of games every single night, tennis, and golf. All of these are great sports, I'm sure they take alot of skill, but I'm going to be frank. I don't care about them.
So I tried turning my entertainment consumption elsewhere, to the movies, only to realize that theaters have been flooded with animated talking animal movies. (In the last 3 years, we've had Madagascar, The Wild, Finding Nemo, Happy Feet, and I'm sure there are many more, and now we're being treated to Surf's Up! A surfing penguin movie.) On a related note, is Pixar even trying anymore? Incredibles was awesome, Toy Story is a classic, and I'll even accept Cars. But a rat chef? Really?
If anyone out there knows how to treat or cure Off-season-itis, please tell me immediately. I need all the help I can get. I don't want to go see Ratatouille.