Growing up in Boston is tough when you hate the Red Sux. Of course having a sense of personal pride and trying to avoid hanging out with losers is also tough when you live in Boston. Especially since almost everyone who lives here is a Red Sux fan. Why anyone would be a Red Sux fan has always been a mystery to me. They have always represented the ultimate in losers and their fans in loser mentality.
For 56 years I had to listen to the Official Red Sux team rally cry. "Just wait until next year!" Finally after about a 1000 years of extreme consistency when it comes to losing the Red Sux accidentally managed, with a lot of help from two of the greatest choke jobs in sports history, to win a couple of World Series.
Big eff'ing deal!
Growing up, I watched a great Celtics organization win championships at an incredible pace. They were the epitome of a successful sports organization and team. They won 9 NBA Championships in a row; 11 championships in 13 years and half of all the available championships in the NBA by the mid 80's. Sure they had a long drought but last year they again returned to their winning ways. Yet, every year growing up, I had to dig to the depths of the sports page just to get the basketball news. The Celtics won another World Championship!? YAWN! "Tell me when they lose, that will be news", was the way their success was covered in the local media.
Meanwhile the media and the idiot baseball fans in this city went bonkers if the Red Sux managed to finish in 4th place. For the average loser that was a grand measure of achievement when it came to the Red Sux. A winning record in exhibition was cause for a parade. They were the poster boys when it came to the “September Swoon” I recall one year when they actually had to lose the last 13 or 14 games just to avoid winning first place. But true to their nature they did it.
That’s how sad the team and their pathetic followers were as far as I was concerned. Baseball is a sport enjoyed by those who think that being able to count all your fingers and toes in one day without stopping to check the count a sign of athletic ability. Guys in the outfield have enough time to scratch their ****, call home, go to the men's room and wait in line for a beer between the few times they might actually have run and catch a ball during the game. If a baseball player sweats he feels he’s entitled to a contract extension.
Even the years when the Patriots were called the "Patsies" provided more sports thrills than every Red Sux team since 1812 to the present put together. For the longest time the owners, who had no financial motivation to actually improve the team, since they sold out virtually every game regardless of how bad the team was, used the team as a retirement farm. They would bring in old washed up superstars at the tail end of their careers to appease the idiots at Fenway Park. What was even worse, was that the fans actually believed these guys, guys who couldn't get to the plate without walkers, were going to turn things around.
The Yankee have about 30 World Series wins over the years . Yet the Red Sux actually think they have some kind of rivalry going on. The Red Sux teams over the years weren’t qualified to carry the Yankees bags let alone be considered rivals
The insanity surrounding the Red Sux these days is just plain embarrassing. As a guy who appreciates a great athletic effort, after listening to these hyperactive fanatics get all lathered up, sticking their chests out and crowing like maniacs because they made the wild card, I am convinced even more that a Red Sux fan is someone who thinks that every win is a gift from the sports gods.
I got news for you guys. The Red Sux haven't won a World Series yet. They were the recipients of two of the greatest chokes in baseball history. They were down 3-0 to the Yankees and 3-1 to whatever team it was last year. You don't exactly win those kinds of series unless the other team makes the kind of historical gaffes and shoots themselves in the foot while your sorry arse team clings to the hope of fools.
But hey... even a blind squirrel finds a nut if he tries long enough. The Red Sux finally found theirs. Thank god for the Patriots and the Celtics. Without them even I might have been fooled into thinking there was a professional sports team in this city called the Red Sux.
There isn't. As one of the less than clever members of the team remarked; “We are just a band of idiots". Truer words have never been spoken when it comes to a team, an organization and it's fans.
GO RED SUX... actually... please... just GO AWAY!.
Football season is here... basketball is just around the corner. I can live without the distraction of over-amped crazies running through the streets celebrating another improbable victory. The excitement will take decades to die down. And the crowing will go on for centuries.