First of all let me just say that by no means is the NHL being affected in any way by the Global Economic Crisis. We are up 4% in season ticket sales. So that says it all. I suppose if we actually had any major sponsors to back out on us in the US that might have made a difference but frankly I had enough foresight to make sure that our markets are so remote that the loss of sponsorship is really not a problem for us.
1. Toronto Maple Leafs
I’m going to stick with these guys at #1 for another week. They certainly showed their moxie in that first game against Detroit. They also happened to be the first team this year to have 1 win, 1 loss and 1 overtime loss which makes them very well rounded and parity is what this league is all about. GO LEAF$
2. LA Kings
Tom Preissing’s 3 points in 3 games. He’s putting Sean O'Donnell to shame!
3. St. Louis Blues
Although they had a shoot out win over the Leafs this week they also lost to the Islanders in New York so I could only keep them where they are for now. Actually, I don’t have to justify any of these rankings to anyone. I’m Gary Freakin’ Bettman I work outside the bounds of logic. So there.
4. Atlanta Thrashers
Nice start with a win over the Washington Ovechkins. Take that Ruskies! See what you’re missing Radulov?
5. New York Islanders
I don’t know if you saw us October 8th but the Islanders and I opened the New York Stock Exchange last week. The DOW fell 2% on the day but I’m not worried. I invested in the Canadian dollar. As long as it doesn’t fall to .86 or .87 cents I’ll be sound as a Pound (which isn’t doing nearly as well either).
6. Columbus Blue Jackets
Ticket sales are going to go through the roof! Get yours today. Back to back verses Nashville Friday and Saturday. Sometimes the scheduling gods can be so sweet.
7. Nashville Predators
I’ll see what I can do to make sure Michael Peca will be out of the lineup over the weekend. Don’t worry, Daddy’s here and he’s not going to let anything bad happen to you my pretties.
8. Edmonton Oilers
Undefeated so far this year thanks to Denis Grebeshkov? Who does he think he is, Tom Preissing?
9. Vancouver Canucks
Luongo is team captain? Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one who cares about the rules?
10. Ottawa Senators
Lost your Swedish captain huh? Now you know how the Leafs feel.
11. Florida Panthers
Florida hockey is good these days but it still needs more cowbell! Mad Cow is here and I couldn’t be happier. Now that’s marketing! Take that Gene Simmons.
12. Colorado Avalanche
Three games, three losses. I think it’s time to get Raycroft in there!
13. Minnesota Wild
Wild verses Panthers. You’d have to be crazy not to see the potential in this rivalry!
14. Phoenix Coyotes
Fans of the Phoenix Coyotes! I have removed the darkness and in doing so I provide you with light. For I said let there be Coyotes games on NHL Center Ice (for only a nominal monthly fee paid directly to your cable company) and it was done and so it shall be (until we review the revenue).
15. Carolina Hurricanes
Canes at Kings on Friday. The great matchups just keep on coming.
16. Boston Bruins
I’m looking for Boston to win the whole thing this year. Go Celtics!
17. New Jersey Devils
Looks like we successfully pushed the Nets out of the lucrative New Jersey market. This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
18. Tampa Bay Lightning
If the Rays can stretch out this World Series run maybe the Lightning can win a game by then. But then again if they win the big prize then no one will be looking at their record anyway.
19. Chicago Blackhawks
They can’t just go firing people for being incompetent can they?
20. Buffalo Sabres
Sure. Anyone can win against the Canadiens, Islanders and Rangers. The real test will come when they meet the Thrashers this Saturday. Then we’ll see what kind of team they have there.
21. San Jose Sharks
Off to their best start ever. Not a bad place to visit either. Or do business. Or just get away from people interested in hockey.
22. Calgary Flames
The back to back against Edmonton should keep you Canadians busy for a few days. Sorry I won’t be able to drop by but I have other, more pressing, business to attend to. Namely Columbus & Nashville.
23. Washington Capitals
Ovechkin is doing well but Crosby is still the good looking one.
24. Philadelphia Flyers
So I suppose in retrospect Sarah Palin was not the best choice to drop the puck at the Flyers’ home opener. I haven’t heard that much booing since the 2007 NHL Entry Draft.
25. Anaheim Ducks
I’m watching you Anaheim and Toronto. I want to see some space between you when the slow dancing starts.
26. Montreal Canadiens
Canada is printing Montreal Canadiens money. Now that’s good advertising!
27. Pittsburgh Penguins
No goals yet for the face of the NHL but a visit from the Leafs on the weekend might help.
28. Dallas Stars
Congratulations must be given to Fabian Brunnstrom for helping the Stars beat one of the best teams this year with a hat trick in his first game. It reminds me of the time I successfully prevented three teams from moving to Hamilton…
29. New York Rangers
I’m from Queens!
30. Detroit Red Wings
You’ll have to forgive Def Leppard for having a moment of Hysteria. (See what I did there?) We’ll have to get some NHL teams over in Europe so they’ll know which end is up. Hey Mr. Balsille how does a nice team in Berlin sound? Just kidding. I’d never give you a team.