Many have speculated early in the baseball offseason that the San Francisco Giants will look to move Barry Zito, due to the $101 million he is set to earn over the next 5 seasons. Zito has been a dreadful disappointment to the Giants, and it was expected that they would eat a majority of his salary to get him onto another team. But, the team announced today that no such deal would be sought, and that he is more than worth the price they are paying him."We have spoken to our special advisor on player affairs, Mrs. Barbara Zito, and she assures us that her son is well worth the $20 million per year we are paying him," said Giants GM Brian Sabean. "We told her that we were slightly worried about his 30 losses and high ERA over the past two seasons, but he has a good heart and she is very proud of him. She then told us to remind him that no matter how he does out there, as long as he tries his best, he will have some hot cocoa waiting for him when he gets home."
Sabean was said to be on the fence about listening to Mother Zito's advice on the matter, but then he tried some of her oatmeal raisin cookies.
"Look, it's not all about the wins and the statistics, it's about having fun and enjoying the game," continued Sabean. "That is what fans like to see, a multi-millionaire smiling and having fun while someone from the other team rounds the bases after a grand slam. It's just a game after all. Plus, our fans with season tickets in the outfield should be very excited as a lot more home run balls are going to be coming their way when Barry is on the mound."
SportsComedian.com
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