Search Still Ongoing For Missing Basketball Nets | The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com

Officials from San Antonio, Texas, site of last season's NCAA Final Four, are still searching for clues in the disappearance of the basketball nets that disappeared after the game. "We are treating this as grand theft," said San Antonio police chief Fred Billingsley. "Somehow, in the ensuing celebration some despicable criminal decided to commit a hanous crime. They took both nets right off the baskets. These things cost something like $1.99 each! In today's economy, every penny counts, and that is a total of 398 pennies! You could buy 3 or 4 houses for that many pennies!"

The chief went on to say that he will not rest until he finds the perpetrators of this crime. Clues have been sparse in the investigation, but it appears the nets were removed with a pair of scissors shortly after the game finished. CBS, the broadcasters of the event, are said to have footage of someone cutting down the nets, but will not release it to the authorities.

"These people are standing in the way of justice!" shouted Billingsley after hearing about the refusal from CBS. "This leads me to believe you are hiding something! You did this, didn't you Jim Nantz?! You took the magic out of this basketball gym! When children come in here to play now and they shoot a hoop, they don't hear swoosh anymore, they hear nothing. You think about that Jim Nantz, you think about that..."

Other suspects in the investigation are coaches and players from the teams, a kindly old man who owns the only all-scissors shop in town, and the Netgoblin, a mythical creature who is collecting all kinds of nets to complete his plans for world domination.

SportsComedian.com
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