FanNation - The Republic of Sport

1st Down- If you're rooting for Claude Lemieux to return to the ice, think again. The guy who cheap shot Kris Draper 10 years ago is returning to the San Jose Sharks. The Sharks are playing the best hockey I've seen. However, they're trying too hard to look like the Red Wings of '02. Let's count the names: Jeremy Rodnick, Rob Blake, Patrick Marleau, Jonathan Cheechoo, Joe Thornton, Dan Boyle, and Evgeni Nabokov. Doesn't that just scream "wannabes." Look, I understand there's a salary cap and I understand franchises want veteran leadership, but the Detroit Red Wings did little things to win the cup. I mean, they played with class. Claude Lemieux isn't one of them. Hockey fans should never forgive him for that hit on Draper. Ever. Todd Bertuzzi hit Steve Moore and that caused a f**king riot, but at least the media forgave him. Claude Lemieux is what Sean Avery is to fashion. And believe me, Sean Avery does have a better face from all those smackdowns.

2nd Down- How about Jet Favre and the New York Bretts? Super Brett Sunday is months away, but I swear on my mother that if they can repeat what they did last Sunday against the previously undefeated Titans, I am driving to Tampa to see this like it was 1969 all over again. But then again, I'm sounding a little bias because I live 40 minutes away from Giants Stadium. Alright, but give the Titans credit before this game. Lendale White and Chris Johnson were the best pair in the backfield and Kerry Collins looked like solitude from the spotlight paid off. Also, keepin mind, The Steelers, Broncos, Chargers, Patriots, and Ravens, are in contention. And how about the NY Giants? Both The G-Men and the Bretts are playing like the Yankees and Mets in 2000, but don't starting sucking each other yet. There are five weeks left. The Titans may have lost, but the Lions are still winless.

3rd Down- My Man, the Rocket, in his ****, Roger Clemens. He's living on the edge now, and he just tumbled off, when Brian McNamee gave DNA samples to federal investigators. The Rocket might as well start sitting on a carlock to prepare to pay for the damage he has done to baseball. I mean, I grew up a Yankee fan, no bias, and I forgave Roger Clemens after he threw the bat at Mike Pizza Man in 2000, but I don't see him getting away from this one. When a congress woman in the February congress hearings said "You're going to heaven" to Rocket-Sized A**hole (in the joint), I wanted to scream, "Why am I paying for these hearings? Why am I wasting tax dollars?" Look, I know the American in court has the right to be innocent until proven guilty. But why has the evidence files piled up to the point where that pile is as big as Barry Bonds' head?Because a guy, the perfect american, as republicans would call, had to protect his reputation. And trust me: Jurassic Park won't be making clones of your DNA. They don't want 100 mph enhanced split-finger fastballs to the face.