The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com
  • 09:28 AM ET  12.11
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The New York Yankees announced their signing of C.C. Sabathia this morning to a deal worth a reported $161 million dollars for 7 years. The contract was signed some time overnight as New York GM Brian Cashman flew out west to ink the deal in person. The salary will make Sabathia the highest paid pitcher in the history of the game, something that the Yankees had hoped to avoid. But because Sabathia is actually really good, in order to overpay for him like they have for the rest of their roster, it costed a pretty penny.

"It's tough to be in my position," said Cashman in an interview after the signing. "Yankees fans and the national media expect us to drastically over-evaluate aging talent and give them a lot more money than they are worth. What would ESPN, fans, and sport blogs talk about with our team if they couldn't lampoon us for our bad salary management? We pay $20 million dollars per year to someone as bad as Jason Giambi, despite him being worth maybe only $3 million. So when we had a chance to sign an actual good and young player, we had to go even higher. We did not want to leave the door open for some sports writer to swoop in 5 years from now and say we made a great decision giving Sabathia so much money. That would destroy everything we have worked to achieve here in this organization."

"The Yankees have laid out for me some expectations for the future that sounds very exciting," said Sabathia in response to the signing. "They told me that they are paying me like someone who should win 20 games a year and have a sub 3.00 ERA, hence they will need me to struggle to win 14 and stay in past the 5th inning. I have a lot of big overpaid pitching shoes to fill here in this big city; Carl Pavano, Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown. But, I think I have what it takes to let these fans down. Who knows, I might even throw a few fun injuries in there somewhere. But, I won't spoil that for anyone. Stay tuned, it's going to be 7 more great Yankee years."

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