The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com
  • 10:21 AM ET  12.30
Views
697
Comments
0

When Bell Helicopters signed on to sponsor the Armed Forces Bowl this year, they only considered it because of the great deal they were given, on account of no one wanting to watch a bowl with a barely eligible military team. But, their corporate headquarters are glad to report a drastic increase in helicopter sales as a result of the new exposure.

"We hear a lot about this bad recession the country is going through," said Bell president Gary Fulmer. "But ever since we were featured in front of a bowl, sales have really picked up. People are buying lots of helicopters, and even adding some of the expensive accessory packages like heat-seeking missles and motion-sensing gattling guns. It's a very exciting time for Bell Helicopters."

Apparently the increase in sales is due to the oversaturation of trucks and SUVs for sports-watching males. Today's man wants something with a little more omph, and a little more off-road capability than 4-wheel drive can give. Bell gives them several options such as a double propeller family helicopter that seats a family of 18, with a TV in the back for the kids. Or the always popular convertible sports copter, with an open roof for the feeling of 200 MPH wind rushing through your hair. Nothing impresses the ladies like a copter landing on them with the top down, blowing sand and trash around their faces.

"We are glad people are returning to the Bell Helicopters brand," continued Fulmer. "For too many years we have seen sales tail off to Japanese manufacturers who offer cheaper prices and hybrid powered copters. When you buy a helicopter for your family or you buy your child their first copter when they turn 16, buy American. Our nuclear payload deployment bays are much more reliable than those from overseas. That's the Bell Promise..."

SportsComedian.com
Discuss this article in the Forum!

Comment

Remember to keep your posts clean. Profanity will get filtered, and offensive comments will be removed.


Coming soon: Log in with your Facebook account, send comments and Throwdowns to Facebook and more.

Start Your Own Blog

Start Now

The Si.com Cover Hub Go to the Cover Hub

Stub Hub

The 2009 schedule has been released. Search for tickets!

Truth & Rumors

MOST POPULAR

  1. 1
    Agent: 'Extraordinary' interest in Bay
    Views
    6413
    Comments
    1893
  2. 2
    Vikings to consider L.A. move?
    Views
    67724
    Comments
    1880
  3. 3
    Bills owner wanted Gruden
    Views
    43046
    Comments
    347
  4. 4
    Mayo rebukes Bruschi's Belichick knock
    Views
    45941
    Comments
    265
  5. 5
    Can Iverson lure LeBron to Knicks?
    Views
    10916
    Comments
    178

Message Boards

  1. NCAAF > General NCAAF

    CFB Game Day 11/21/2009
    Views
    232
    Replies
    115
  2. NCAAF > General NCAAF

    2009's most disappointing team
    Views
    162
    Replies
    16
  3. NCAAF > General NCAAF

    One guy, one gal, and one…
    Views
    121
    Replies
    15

Blogs

SI.com

Swimsuit

SI Photos