Today we mourn the loss of a true curmudgeon. An avaricious, miserly old toad who did his level best to strongarm an entire state's worth of sports fans.
Mr. Pohlad, I'm sorry to say that you will not be missed.
Actually, that's not entirely accurate. You will be missed by very few. Among them, Commissioner/ Spawn of Satan Bud Selig. Pohlad was one of Selig's evilest and most trusted cronies. The two were like-minded in a number of ways. Mostly with regard to how to maximize profits.
Where will Selig get his sweet, sweet warbdrobe upgrades now, I ask?
Like Selig, Pohlad was a living testament to the ills of professional sports. He wasthe wealthiest owner in MLB, valued at $3.1 billion by Forbes last year.
And what did he do with that wealth?
Offer his team up to the sacrificial alter of contraction? Check.
Try to extort funding for a new stadium out of the State of Minnesota? Check.
Keep the Twins payroll among the lowest in the league? Check.
Granted the Twins still performed quite well from time to time. But imagine what they might have done with an owner whose wallet wasn't riveted shut. Imagine having a billionaire owner who actually gave a crap about the sport. Or winning. Or ANYTHING besides making more money for himself.
If you hadn't died, Mr. Pohlad, I would have introduced you to Mark Cuban.
Putting aside the morally questionable way he built his fortune in the first place, Pholad was a terrible owner. Not just for the team or the state or its fans, but for the game. His M.O. of "do as little as possible to make as much as possible" is so Scrooge-like it's a cliche. But being cliche never bothered him much.
I'm happy for the Twins and for their fans. With this changing of the guard, maybe some life can be brought back to Minnesota. Maybe we'll see what the franchise is truly capable of.
And so with condolences to the dreadful Commissioner who, let's be honest, can always find another rich a-hoIe to pal around with, I say good-bye and good riddance.