#1: There Seems to Be No Negatives in Your Life: He was the first sophmore to ever win the Heisman, he's been a part of two National Championship, and he's been regarded as one of the best players ever. I could go on and on with all his accomplishments, but I want to keep my lunch down. Heck, the only negative he has experienced in the 08-09 season was getting beat by Ole Miss by 1 point. Following the loss he made a press conference that everyone has seen and will remember for a long time (I'll talk about this more in a minute or two). There's no losing seasons, not any major injuries, no police problems, no major heartbreaks, NOTHING! Come on, be a little more human and lose some more!
#2: Everything You Do in Your Life is Good: When you're not leading the Gators to National Titles, you're in some foreign country helping kids or in some prison talking to inmates about Christianity. Puh-leez. Come on, have a little fun! Go out with your friends and throw some wild parties and get yelled at by your neighbors! Do something that will get everyone talking, something that will make people not feel proud to know you! You can only live once, so why waste all that time helping unfortuante folks out???
#3: The Media Loves You: It seems there are two things in college football that the sports world (which is basically ESPN) loves: USC and Tim Tebow. Everyone loves him. The other day I heard Mark May saying that he is such a great player and will without-a-doubt be capable of playing in the NFL as a QB. I cannot think of a time when the guys on College Gameday Final talked about how much Tebow has struggled or how he let his team down. No, it's about where he ranks in the history of college football and if he'll be the President some day.
#4: Only one man should be compared to Superman, and that man is Chuck Norris: The other day College Football Live had a bunch of Tebowisms that were basically Chuck Norris facts with Chuck's name taken out and Tim's put in. I was mad. The correct fact is "Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, he pushes the earth down", not "Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups, he pushes the earth down". Tebow can't even have his own facts until he either wins a whole lot of championships in a row or stars in a remake of Missing in Action. Leave Chuck alone or he'll give you a roundhouse kick to the face!
#5: You are Part of a Squad that Rebuilt Florida, the team that I hate the most: Two words describe the time that I was most happiest with college football and those two words are "Ron" followed by "Zook". When Ron Zook was at Florida, they weren't competing for college championships. Instead, they were going 8-4 or 9-3 every year and getting beat by the likes of some bad teams like a 1-5 Mississippi State team. Sure, they still usually kicked Georgia's butt, but still they never made anything out of it. Then exit Zook, enter Urban Meyer and then enter Tebow. BOOM! Florida's back, and I'm left going "What just happened?" Truth be told, I'm still going "What just happened?"
#6: You're so Likeable for me because of your dealings in Christianity: I saw a clip of Tebow at some prison talking to the prisoners about Jesus and how they needed to get religion, and I thought, "You know, I like this guy." I soon added to that thought "when he's off the field." He tries to help others get religion, and I admire that about him. But that's just about it. The rest of it I hate, and I hate that this guy could be a preacher someday and here I am writing things I hate about him. Right now I'm considering stopping this blog. Now I'm not. He's trying to convince me to like him, but I say no. It's hard to love a Florida Gator. It's impossible for me.
#7: Everyone tells the same stupid stories about You: I can think of two stories I've heard so many times that I want to kill whoever decided that this was SUCH a great story. #1: It happened the day that Tebow committed to Florida. He called Coach Meyer, and said "Coach, I've made a decision". Then CLICK, and the line went dead. The call was dropped! Oh, how horrible for Meyer and Florida Fans! Is he going to Alabama, or is he going to Florida? I would have loved if Tebow got mad because he thought Meyer hung up the phone and committed to Bama instead. #2: After the Ole Miss game, Tebow's "inspiring" speech to the media. He acted like he was about to cry. As my sister always says to me when I get mad or angry, "Poor baby, are you gonna cry???" He said this would inspire him, and that ticks me off. That's what you're SUPPOSE to do in life, and ALMOST NO ONE does it. He apologizes for his play, and it makes me laugh. Then he leaves with "God Bless." Nice gesture, but I don't know, it just doesn't seem like a football player up there talking. Guess this is just the Bulldog Fan in me talking, but that's what I think.
Should I make this a weekly blog? If so, who's next on the list?