Posted by:

| 12:27 PM ET 02.04 |

February 3rd/4th 2009

Staff: YODA, Oilers: NHI

Season 2 ....

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing"
- Dave Barry

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* * * THE OFFICIAL TOP 7 LIST * * *

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1.

Context: Nickb23 proposing a quiz for all potential new FN TDers - LINK

(a) I know we all like putting newbies in their place but all these new users who stumble along like Porkins to Golden Corrall or Yoda to a Gina Carano website are quite annoying.

(b) Well RaefM4 you shouldn't give up. I believe your two sentence rant was just as thought provoking and informative as an Andrew Perloff article and if he can work for SI, you too still have a chance.

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2.

Context: Redwing19 disputes GU3's claim that he never wears pants - LINK

(a) Not wearing pants in baseball would give you a sandier crotch than Fizz when he last spent some quality time on a beach in Cancun. - Redwing

(b) Yeah, sure, pants are useful in some cases. What else is Porkins going to use as a bib? What else is Captain America going to built his raft out of for his trips to America (he is Puerto Rican). How else is Fizz going to make his dolls more realistic? - Gu3

(c) The fact remains that pants are a necessity in life, especially when you are walking around in weather colder than Agrippa and CG's relationship. - Redwing

+ =

(d) Why do hot girls wear short-shorts? Why do muscle men wear sleeve-less sleeves? Why did Agrippa have his green card framed? Simple answer: If you got it, you flaunt it. This is the same answer as to why I do not wear pants. Do I really need to go into much more detail? - Gu3

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3.

Context: Fantasy football draft - LINK

(a) The reason the Rams had one of the worst passing attacks in the NFL was because Bulger spent more time on his back than Paris Hilton at a Frat party. - Fizz

(b) Paris jokes are more played out than your latex man doll's a-nus. Stop regurgitating what you heard on top100 radio on the way to work. - Agrippa

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Note: Zing points standings will be published every

Sunday commencing February 14th

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4.

Context: Bigalke schools a newbie - LINK

Man... now it's time to take the kid gloves off. Despite all the comments below, you still want to argue for this mythical "Jeff" Gruden. IT'S J-O-N GRUDEN, NEWBIE! - Bigalke

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5.

Context: The Pittsburgh Penguins are the most overrrated team in the NHL - LINK

I think you should trade your arguments for what's behind door 1 - Foosball

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6.

Context: Debating the chances of the San Jose Sharks winning the next Stanley Cup - LINK

Let's look at some facts. Facts are fun, mostly because I don't anticipate you posting them, nor refuting mine - Moondizzle

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7.

Context: Moving the date of the NFL Pro Bowl - LINK

You lose Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin, you replace them with Calvin Johnson and Greg Jennings. Not exactly the Peachy's of the NFL, huh? - Nickb23