America is a society that loves rumors. We love any kind of rumor, whether it be about a big Hollywood actor or about the next door neighbor. There's only one thing we love more than rumors, and that's confessions. So I've decided to make a list of 5 confessions (or annoucements) that you won't hear in 2009, or possibly ever.
#1. "I Used Steroids....It was Stupid, and it was wrong" - Bud Selig
#1. "I Used Steroids....It was Stupid, and it was wrong" - Bud Selig
How do you think this would go over? Selig, one of the people many think about when they think "Steroid Era" in baseball, winds up saying that he did 'roids "just to get back from an injury". Yeah, right. Then pictures come out with Selig in a weight room benching 500 lbs and doing it with ease. Selig is then fired as league commissioner and is banned from baseball. He will then write a book about steroid use and make millions.
#2. "I'm Leaving NASCAR and driving in F1" - Jimmie
Johnson
A New F1 team is starting up in Charlotte, and many NASCAR drivers (including Kyle Busch and A.J. Allmendinger) have been rumored to be candidates for the job. Johnson has to be tired of dominating the Cup Series, where he's won back-to-back-to-back championships, so he will decide to try something more challenging. After three back-to-back-to-back F1 championships, he will retire in his thirties to golf for fifty years (watch out Tiger!)
#3 "After much consideration and thought, I've decided that I'm not comfortable playing in the NFL. Sure the money's nice, but it's real tough. I've decided I'm moving north and playing in the CFL" - Matthew Stafford
All most football players think about his getting paid. This apparently doesn't bother Stafford, but getting hit by massive linemen sure does. He declares he's playing in the CFL, he is signed by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, leads the team to the playoffs, and wins a Grey Cup in his fourth year. He then decides to go back to the NFL, gets hurt in his first game as QB for the Colts (replacing retired Peyton Manning), and then decides to become an coach. He then goes to his alma mater (Georgia), and ten years later is the Bulldogs head coach.
#4 "If we fail to make the playoffs this year, all our starters are either going to be released or traded and I'm selling the team" - Hal Steinbrenner
This would be huge because 1) This is HAL, not HANK, the one who runs his mouth and 2) the Yankees have never nor would ever do anything like this. The Yankees roster makes more money than all the other AL teams COMBINED. Talk about freeing up some cap room. OH WAIT, there isn't a cap. The Yankees will then work on their farm system, and as a result will go on a streak like the Braves of the 90's. Girardi is a hero, the new owners look brilliant, and New York has the second-to-lowest payroll in the majors. So, who are the new owners? James Dolan and Madison Square Garden, L.P., who own the trainwreck otherwise known as the New York Knicks.
#5 "I apologize to all the Cowboys, 49ers, and Eagles' fans I've angered over the years. I acted immature, and I hope that you will forgive me" - Terrell Owens
I see this being the most likely of all those on this list, mainly because T.O. has no home as of today and I doubt many teams will jump to get him. As a result, the Eagles decide to give him another shot, and BOOM! They win the Super Bowl, and T.O. decides to retire, as does his new best friend, Donovan McNabb.
Hope you enjoyed this. I started it yesterday, and my computer screwed up right before I could publish it. So this is basically the second edition. Anyways, leave me some comments on what you thought of the list.
Kate Bock
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