Lebron's that big one over there. The scary looking one. The kind of book that antagonizes you when looking at it from across the room. The dreaded chapter book in first grade, yep, thats him. The confusing copy of Shakespeare in middle school, oh yes, that's him. And that thick encyclopedia of Darwinian theory in college, you bet, thats without a doubt Lebron as well.

    We stutter when we read him, the storyline is scattered and confusing and the main characters role is filled with mixed signals. But, despite our distaste for the literary work, we still understand why our English teacher chose it for us. The writing is confusing yes, but the unbelievably elegant language is, as hard as it is for us to admit it, enticing. But the bottom line is, we still dont get what the book is about, just like Mr. James himself.

    For people to say that Lebron has been simply sending "mixed signals" is a ridiculous understatement. In a league where every team is drooling over a chance at him in the summer of 2010, Lebron James just seems to love messing with his suitors. In a hyped game last December, James' Cleveland Cavaliers played the New York Knicks in Madison Square Garden where he played a dirty card on the New York franchise and their fans.

     The Knicks, a team in the center of the conversation for King James' contract, had just truly proved their desire for his services when they traded starters Jamal Crawford and Zach Randolph to Golden State for Al Harrington (the deal involved some other smaller agreements as well). Every Knick fan knew that the next two seasons were just time-fillers for an explosion on a hot summer day in 2010. It didn't matter how bad their team did under Mike D'Antoni, he would be the coach when Lebron arrived which meant his services were required for at least the next three seasons. Yes, this team was obsessed with this one man, or more or less the idea of him.

    So what did he do, you may ask. What trick did he play to wet the Knicks' palate a little more. Well, Lebron showered in the love that he received from Madison Square Garden. He plunged into the pool of envy that the Knicks organization had created, and came up with a simply mean tease. As if everyone associated with the Knicks weren't sick with worry and wonder over whether Lebron would choose their team and not the other dozen that would likely be vying for the star in 2010, Lebron chose that night to release his brand new show, The Big Apple. Yep, just to build on the mountain of hope that the Knicks had formed and ensure that if he didn't choose them in 2010, the avalanche of pain and wasted time would fall even harder.

But he obviously isn't doing this just to terrorize the Knicks fans right? I mean Lebron is a nice guy after all. So that must mean he's hinting at his decision, not providing false hope. Whoa, stop right there. It all comes back to that book analogy at the beginning. This is the point when you think you know what Juliet is talking about but you're really completely wrong. So don't start feeling proud of your literary knowledge just yet, because Shakespeare, and Lebron, are sure to throw you another curveball soon.

    Yeah, speaking of curveball, here it comes on local Cleveland radio. Lebron is promoting his new charity event when the conversation, as it always does, turns to his free-agency. And Mr. Big Apple himself is quoted as saying "Now, I can't see myself going anywhere else". So one second he's welcoming the love from New Yorkers and the next King James is reassuring his hometown that hes staying. I dont know if he can play on two teams but at this point in the story, that's about the point it's at.

    But Cleveland's not bad right? I mean, he's been the center of attention in an entire state for almost six years; you can't be dying to get out of that situation. And they've done the one thing that Lebron was asking: build a team around him. They made a smart deal last year to bring balanced role players in and picked up Mo Williams in the off-season. Williams, Wally Szczerbiack and, Delonte West have accented him perfectly this season, leading Cleveland to a phenomenal record at the halfway point, and making it mighty hard for Lebron to just walk right out of Ohio.

So, okay, he's staying in Cleveland. All this hype over him will eventually be for nothing and the Cavs will continue to be dominant, right? Wrong! Well, not if Jay-Z has anything to say about it.

    Who? Mr. Shawn Corey Carter, famous rapper, husband of Beyonce, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, and above all, one of Lebron's closest friends. He was originally born in Brooklyn and was a main part of the Nets' decision to move there in 2010. So just when you thought you had narrowed it down to Cleveland and New York, here comes New Jersey with just as strong a bid as anyone in 2010. Lebron has said that he has always longed to play in Brooklyn and he would have an opportunity to totally run the show in New Jersey while playing in a brand new stadium. Never mind, the constant nudges towards the franchise from Jay-Z. But with the economic crisis affecting the Nets, the construction of their new stadium has come to a halt, which would leave Lebron in a less than enthused Izod Center for at least his first season.

     So what book are you perusing when you're reading Lebron?  Or maybe you're not reading a book.  Lebron is poetry, not prose.