07:47 PM ET  03.25 |    This edition of Seven Things I Hate About You features a guy who has worn out his welcome at his new job in only a matter of months. He's already accused one conference opponent of cheating, already told one recruit that going to one opponent would mean "pumping gas the rest of your life", and has said that his team being in the locker rooms of one of their toughest opponents was good for recruiting. Here's Seven Things I Hate About You, Lane Kiffin.

You Have No Success, So Why Talk Smack? - You have to have some experience to accuse Florida, one of the best college football teams around (it pains me to say), of cheating when you've been a head coach in college football for, what, a little less than four months? Some coaches might earn a little leeway for their success. Take Pete Carroll or Joe Paterno. If they said one comment like that, they wouldn't be in as bad of shape because of what they've accomplished. Kiffin was the head coach of the Raiders for two years (5-15 record) and has been nominated for the Just Shut Up Award a record 15 times (Note: not all statistics are real, but they are deserving). Quit talking until you bring a National Championship back to Knoxville.

You Don't Know the Meaning of "SHUT UP" - Off the top of my head, I can name 5 stupid things you've said since you were hired at Tennessee. That is ridiculous. You would think that all this negative publicity would teach you to shut up (or the athletic director to tell you to shut up). You're last statement about being glad that there's Tennessee stuff in the Gators locker room was just a bad comeback. There is no way you'll ever survive in the SEC if you continue acting the way you are, so either buck up or get out of Dodge.

There is NO REASON WHY you should be the Vols head coach - I really don't understand how 5 wins in 2 years of coaching in the NFL gets you a head coaching job in the SEC. I'm telling ya, Kiffin wouldn't even be in the top 30 guys I would hire, and his dad would definately be in front of him. I'm the type of person who believes someone like Kiffin should have had to start small (go to a place like Toledo), have some success, and THEN move up. Didn't work that way. I guess it was based on his recruiting at USC. Doesn't matter, the Vols will be looking for another guy in 3 years.

Tennessee Got Rid of Fulmer for THIS?!!?!? - This feels like a bad dream. Phillip Fulmer, who spent thirty years of his life as a Vol and retired with a 152-52 record, is fired for "The Future of The Tennessee Vols Football Program". So, who are they gonna get? Did they get Charlie Strong, a Defensive Coordinator who should have been a head coach 5 years ago? No. How about Chris Petersen, the Boise State head coach? NO! You fired the greatest head coach in your team's history who should and probably will be known as "Monte Kiffin's son". Good move. What's next? Firing Pat Summitt and hiring the Atlanta Dream's head coach to replace her?

You're Not Too Good at "Playing Nice" - Lets look at the SEC teams you've already taken jabs at:

Florida: Already discussed. Kiffin accused them of cheating, and then tried to sound smart about it later. 

Georgia: "In late February 2009, Kiffin was accused of denigrating the Georgia Bulldogs recruiting efforts in the state of Georgia on a talk radio show with the Rivals network. The University of Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans responded that the program does not need to cheat to have success."

South Carolina: In March 2009, it was revealed that Kiffin had another recruiting incident involving Alshon Jeffrey who is one of the top recruits from South Carolina. According to ESPN's Chris Low "Kiffin told Jeffrey that if he chose the Gamecocks, he would end up pumping gas for the rest of his life like all the other players from that state who had gone to South Carolina." Kiffin denies ever making that statement. However the incident was corroberated by Alshon Jeffrey's coach Walter Wilson who was listening to Kiffin's remarks on speakerphone.

That's three of the best teams in the SEC East. I have a question for you, Mr. Kiffin: "What exactly are you trying to do here? Are you trying to collapse the Tennessee Vols football program, because that's what it looks like"

You Don't Come with Approval from Your Former Employer - I doubt that Tennessee was advised by Al Davis to hire Lane. Davis wanted to fire you after one year as head coach. Harsh. Davis called you a "flat-out liar" and said he was guilty of "bringing disgrace to the organization". Do the good folks at Knoxville know about this stuff?

No one Has Heard Anything Good About You - Honestly. Think about all the times you've come up in the news. There has never been a time when anything good about Lane Kiffin has been heard. No Coach of the Year Awards, no championships, NOTHING. YOU JUST DO STUPID STUFF, WHICH JUST WINDS UP HURTING YOU. This seems to be rubbing off on your players. I heard the other day that a Tennessee player hurt himself by running into a brick wall. I REPEAT, HE RAN INTO A BRICK WALL. This Tennessee job isn't starting out too good.