Reports
surfaced out of Denver today that Jay Cutler and head coach Josh
McDaniels have been exchanging text messages in hopes of patching up
their relationship, which has grown increasingly rocky over the
offseason. It was hoped that Cutler would return to Denver for
voluntary workouts, but it appears that even the texting has rubbed
Cutler the wrong way.
"Look, I really wanted to be a part of
this team over the offseason, I really did," said Cutler. "We had a
nice dialogue going, I started off by saying 'Hey m8! Wat r u up 2?'
and he responded with an incredibly insulting 'ROFL, MBFYMADS!'. Now,
everyone knows that means, 'Rolling on floor laughing, Mrs. Butterworth
**** Your Mom All Day Sunday'. Why would he say something like that to
me, and laugh about it?! Mrs. Butterworth is a delicious syrup shaped
like a woman, how dare he deface her like this!"
In response to
this insult, Cutler said he is going to sell another 2-3 houses and
forgo another couple hundred thousand dollars in bonus money to further
punish the team.
McDaniels responded by saying the whole thing
was a big mixup, and he blames the translator he brought in to help him
talk to the young man. Maria Young, a linguist who speaks multiple
languages including fluent drunk ****, hipster jagoff, and
narcissistic **** quarterback, was the one responsible. She has
helped teams communicate in the past with people such as Brett Favre
and Ryan Leaf. But this time she thought she was texting an
abbreviation that meant "My best friend, you're missing a dope
scrimmage'.
McDaniels has since let go the translator, and cited
the difficulty in relating to a 25-year-old detached white kid though
text abbreviations for the misunderstanding. He said all communication
with Cutler will now be handled by his 11-year-old daughter.
SportsComedian.com
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Hilary Rhoda
Kayla Oberg

Comments (4) Add A Comment
Good stuff man!
MrMiyagiJr
Total Comments (2662)
I think we need a new owner and a new coach. this guys ego is so frickin big, he doesn't realize he isn't belicrap. but he has brought the same attitude as his ex-cheating team. Bowlen has lost his marbles. Ego, attitude and but###e. I think they should run them both out. Sell the team and maybe we can get an spend to spend couple hundred dollars a year going to games and such. I won't anymore. Send this team to LA. We need an expansion team. Cutler is going to haunt you in the future you Idiots!!!!
Rudedog
Fort Collins , CO
Total Comments (39)
I think we need a new owner and a new coach. this guys ego is so frickin big, he doesn't realize he isn't belicrap. but he has brought the same attitude as his ex-cheating team. Bowlen has lost his marbles. Ego, attitude and but###e. I think they should run them both out. Sell the team and maybe we can get an expansion team. I used to spend couple hundred dollars a year going to games and such. I won't anymore. Send this team to LA. We need an expansion team. Cutler is going to haunt you in the future you Idiots!!!!
Sorry, pc acting up! had to correct.
Rudedog
Fort Collins , CO
Total Comments (39)
I hate to put down what it is you do... So I will not.
<Knowshon>
Total Comments (126)
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