Colorado Rockies Waste No Time Reminding Fans They Suck | The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com

2009 brought a whole new feeling to the fans of the Colorado Rockies, a feeling of hope in the future of this franchise. After a dismal 2008 campaign, some key offseason moves had their fans feeling like this might finally be the year the team takes home a World Series title.

"It's a new season, and anything could happen!" said longtime fan Billy Gilbert. "It's a clean slate, all the records are the same. I'm ready for a possibly great season!"

But the Rockies wanted to make sure fans didn't set their sights too high for this year. And that fresh optimism lasted exactly one batter, as ace Aaron Cook gave up a leadoff homerun to the Arizona Diamondbacks Felipe Lopez.

"People had really set some lofty expectations for this team," said manager Clint Hurdle. "I wanted to make sure we showed them what kind of year it's going to be, right from the first man. I told Aaron to hang a fastball up in the zone, and let Lopez crush these silly dreams before they get out of hand. The last thing we want for the team this year is expectations, because I put this awful club together, and there is no way we are going to meet them.

"It's a tough economy out there. I want to be sure no one does something stupid like waste their money on season tickets or something. We of course lost this game after giving up 5 homeruns and 9 runs total. That is the kind of season this is going to be. I've set the tone so that there is no misunderstanding things. It was fun to think maybe this will be the year, during the offseason. But now it's begun, and with only 161 games to go, let's just admit that the dream is over. But hey, there's always next year."

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April 7, 2009 11:12 AM ET

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"I told Aaron to hang a fastball up in the zone, and let Lopez crush these silly dreams before they get out of hand." That almost implies that Cook can hit his spots with any accuracy. That would be a nice thing to believe right now.