The opinions expressed in this blog are for entertainment purposes only and in no way represent the opinions of the blog writer. Any resemblance to any current football player living or deceased is purely accidental because the writer of the blog is just some goofy dog.
It's almost that time. The deadline looms near. Do you have everything together that you need? Is it all organized so you can go through the process much easier? Do you have key people that can help you on speed dial?
Everyone has been waiting for this for a year. Some people will be happy after it passes. Others will be ticked off thinking they got jobbed. But in the end, everyone will get theirs.
Oh crap! I'll be right back.
OK, I'm back. I'm talking about draft weekend. Come on, no self respecting NFL fan could possibly not have this date circled on their calendars. Weddings get postponed for it. Birthday dinners get pushed back. Heck, even alone time with your significant (or insignificant) other gets rescheduled.
And that's what I'm here for. No, not take your place in the alone time category. I'm here to help make draft weekend an easier transition for you.
I'm here to make a mockery of the draft. This is a three part series, so consider yourselves warned and make plans to be elsewhere when I post the other parts.
In this first part I will make a feeble attempt to warn owners about drafting certain players. And warn the fans not to get their hopes too high.
Then I will tell you what I would like to see happen on draft day on part two.
Finally, I'll tell you to take a hike, wait I mean...um...yeah, let's leave it at that.
Enough messing around, let's start the prognosticating.
Here some players I think teams should avoid, but they still will most likely go in the first round.
Mark Sanchez - I don't have anything against the guy, he is a decent QB in a good system, but he is not a great QB. He's coming out early only because there will be too much competition next draft (Tebow, Bradford, McCoy, etc...). Who was the last USC QB to be a star in the NFL? Palmer has been decent, but not consistently great. Despite my warnings though, Sanchez will probably get taken in the top 10.
Michael Crabtree - In my opinion, the most over rated receiver coming out of the Big 12 since Roy Williams. He is another product of an insane offensive system. He is coming out after only his sophomore year. Sorry, that is waaaaaaaaay to early to think you can hang in the NFL. The first time he gets his jock knocked off by Ed Reed, he'll wish he was still in Lubbock. But, he may very well be the first receiver taken. Hmmm, will Detroit keep up its tradition?
Malcolm Jenkins - Sorry man, you are not an NFL corner. And if someone drafts him as a corner, it may well be the most wasted draft pick since Ryan Leaf. Now, I do believe he can make a good safety, but he is nowhere near the corner he (and his agent) thinks he is. The one thing going in his favor is that this year is generally weak in the CB market
Beanie Wells - Quick, who was the last RB from Ohio State to be worth a hoot? Ok, that one was easy - Eddie George. But the fact remains that I think Wells is over rated. He had a lot, and I mean a lot of injuries in college. He was hurt so many times, Adrian Peterson said, "damn you get hurt a lot Beanie". He could be good in a RBBC system, but to expect him to be the centerpiece of your run game, well you better hope you have a good health insurance plan.
Brian Orakpo - It kills me to do this because I bleed burnt orange. And yes he was a stud, a lot of the time, at Texas. But that's the key word, "a lot of the time". Ok, well that was like 3 words or something, but the point is, he was not consistent enough in the trenches to be considered a 1st rounder. There were so many games the past couple of season where he was taken out of the game by the offense that I had to double check to see if he was still on the roster. Would he make a good LB like some "experts" are projecting? Maybe on the outside. He would be a much safer pick in the late 2nd to early 3rd rounds
Andre Smith - Well, I'm just jumping on the bandwagon with this one. Stay away from this guy like you would a $2 hooker. I think the writers who know a lot more than I do have given enough warnings about him. But I bet you a $3 hooker that he goes in the first round.
Aaron Curry - I think this guy is a phenomenal LB. He is well worth a first round pick. Well, why is he on your list crazy dog? Because if you draft him too high, you will be setting a very high bar for linebackers in the future. Do you really want to set the precedent by making him the highest paid LB in NFL history. Granted, guys like him don't come around often. But for every Aaron Curry there are 5 Brian Bosworths. Speaking of which,
James Laurenitis - This one's a bit tougher - who was the last LB to come from Ohio State who was worth a crap? Enough said.
Josh Freeman - While I don't think he will go in the first round, I'm not ruling out a team desperate for a QB. And you would have to be just that - desperate - to take Freeman in the first round, or even the second, or third for that matter. Seriously, what did he accomplish at Kansas State? And he's coming out early to boot, probably for the same reason Sanchez came out early. No thanks, I would rather have Rex Grossman as my QB.
Michael Bennett - I have no legit reason to include him because he probably won't go in the 1st round, but I included him because he played for the Aggies. I can't dish on someone from the Longhorns without dissing a rival player.
Well, there you have it - my completely unprofessional opinion on who to avoid in the draft.
Stay tuned for part two, where I really make a mockery of the draft.