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The Sports Comedian

The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com

Washington Wizards Trick Innocent Man Into Being Their Coach

  • 10:14 AM ET  04.15
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The nation's sympathy goes out today to Flip Saunders and his family, who this news organization has learned just agreed to become the next head coach of the Washington Wizards. Details of the hiring are still coming out, but it's speculated that the Wizards somehow have tricked the poor man into signing an agreement to be in charge of the horrible franchise. That is the only reason someone would possibly take over the worst team in the Eastern Conference.

We have been told that D.C. area police are investigating possible crimes committed by the Wizards to make this happen.

"We are looking at the possibility they are holding Flip's family hostage," said police chief Jason Castro. "Maybe they have poisoned him with a radioactive poison that only they have the antidote to. Perhaps he is an alien, and they are going to destroy his homeworld through making them watch their incredibly horrible basketball play. Anything is a possibility here, but one thing is for sure, and that's no man would choose to take over this team of his own volition. We will get to the bottom of this."

TSC will keep following this story and update our readers when more information or any arrests are made.

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April 30, 2009  10:42 AM ET
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Weak.

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