Obviously it's not going to happen, considering the two-year contract Omar Minaya gave to the clueless Mets manager, but in a perfect world, Jerry would be gone. Out of New York, out of my face...just anywhere but here.

You won't even believe what he did last night. I think it's impossible to make any more mistakes than he did in a non-extra inning game. He made three critical mistakes -- in one inning. That inning, if you don't already know, was the fifth. Here's the scenario:

The enigmatic, headache-inducing Oliver Perez is laboring through his fifth inning of work. He entered the frame with a beautiful 4-0 lead, and proceeded to give away two runs of that lead rather quickly. Before we Met fans could blink, it was 4-2 and the Cardinals had the bases loaded. Perez was clearly losing both velocity and command. 

A right-handed batter strolls to the plate. Righty Brian Stokes and lefty Casey Fossum are warming in the Met bullpen. Unquestionably, the move was to take Perez out of the game and put Stokes in for the righty-righty match-up. Stokes is an excellent reliever to put in with the bases loaded because he pounds the strikezone and there's no fear of a bases loaded walk. He also surprises opposing hitters with his 92-96 MPH fastball. 

So, what does Manuel do?

He stays with Perez against the right-handed bat. Certainly he was looking to instill confidence in his zany lefty starter, but this is the major leagues. Enough with this baby bull$hit, let's just win the game at hand. The move was to go to Stokes; the move wasn't to coddle Ollie. 

And of course, what does Perez do?

He walks in a run. Matter of fact, I think it was his fifth or sixth walk of the night. Imagine that? Your pitcher has four or five walks already, and you think it's okay to leave him in with the bases loaded and the game potentially on the line as early as the fifth inning?

Manuel's an idiot. A true baseball jerk. 

And, not surprisingly, his idiocy doesn't end there. 

Joe Thurston, a weak left-handed hitter for the Cardinals, strolled to the plate next. Thurston had been struggling mightily against Perez all night, so Ollie actually had a chance to retire him again. Besides, Manuel already left him in to face the righty, so it wouldn't make sense to take him out against the lefty.

Again, for those of you who don't know, Perez is a left-handed pitcher. So Manuel left him in to face a right-handed hitter with the bases loaded, and then how does he follow that up?

He takes him out when Thurston steps in the box. Thurston had no chance against Ollie all night. But wait, it gets better...

Who does Manuel go to out of the bullpen?

Casey Fossum, of course. 

Casey Fossum has been an absolute disaster throughout his major league career. He's a soft-tossing lefty who would have been okay in the 70's, but not in this era. On top of that, Fossum had just been called up from AAA. 

It was the first major league batter he had faced all season.

Bases loaded, one-run game, two outs...and Manuel puts in a shaky pitcher that hasn't thrown a big league pitch all season. 

I know; no professional manager could be this dumb, right?

Obviously Fossum is extremely nervous -- and he sucks to begin with -- so he proceeds to walk Thurston on four consecutive pitches.

Nice job, Casey. Even better job, Jerry. 

And still, with the score now tied courtesy of jackass Jerry Manuel, the horror doesn't end there. 

With Stokes still hot in the bullpen, Tony LaRussa takes his starting pitcher Todd Wellemeyer out of the game, and replaces him with dangerous pinch hitter Brian Barden. Barden is off to a scorching start in '09, and he's a powerful right-handed bat. 

So undoubtedly, it was time for the right-hander Stokes. So Manuel went to the mound and rightfully took Fossum out of the game...

Well, that's what should have happened. Believe it or not, Manuel left the soft-tossing lefty in to face the strong-swinging righty. 

This time, Jerry lucked out. Barden absolutely hammered the first pitch from Fossum -- an 85 MPH crappy fastball -- and Jose Reyes ranged to his left to bail Fossum out. Another misstep by Manuel, only to be saved by the forces above. 

Moving on, eighth inning, 4-4 game. Everyone knows that left fielder Daniel Murphy has really struggled with his transition from the infield, as there's no room for him in an infield with Carlos Delgado, David Wright, and Reyes. So the Murphy outfield experiment continues, and he continues to fail when it matters the most. 

But this time -- a bullet line drive headed straight for him in left -- it wasn't his fault when he misplayed it, fell down, and allowed it to become a leadoff triple at a critical juncture in the game. 

Nope, again, it was Manuel's fault.

Why is Murphy out there in left in the eighth inning of a tie game?

Jerry, have you ever heard of the phrase "defensive replacement?"

Jerry, do you know you have an outstanding defensive outfielder named Jeremy Reed on your bench? Even if you don't want to go to Reed, both Fernando Tatis and Gary Sheffield are superior defensive outfielders to Murphy. 

But no, Jerry sticks with his shaky youngster, and gets burnt...again.

Mets lost obviously, by the score of 6-4. 

Manuel blows another, and I'm 100 percent sure that I know more about baseball than he does. Trust me, you know more than him too. 

("JFro," aka John Frascella, is the author of "Theo-logy: How a Boy Wonder Led the Red Sox to the Promised Land." It's the first full-length book centered on Boston Red Sox's popular general manager Theo Epstein. Preview it online at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble or Borders. It's currently stocked in Barnes and Noble stores throughout the U.S. Also, check out John on Twitter.)