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You could put Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and Kat Williams all on the same stage, and they combined wouldn???t be able to crack as many one-liners as Major League Baseball is today. Baseball has fans on pins and needles, and that???s become the appropriate theme of the last decade. With the latest positive drug test, Manny Ramirez, the one falling on his lumber this time, you could say that this era of baseball players has made a mockery of the sport, but I would disagree because ???mockery??? seems like too serious of a word. Something has to really matter for it to be a mockery, and Major League Baseball just doesn???t fit that criterion anymore. The game has been made a joke by its own servants, the players who we pay big dollars to watch perform on a nightly basis and do things on a baseball field that are unimaginable to the mind of the average human being. I wasn???t even angry or upset after hearing the news on Ramirez. I just laughed and shook my head. ???What a joke.??? Baseball happens to be its own punch line while the rest of us sit back and marvel at how such a great game and such a great brand could continually force away loyal fans by the minute. The Los Angeles Times first reported Thursday morning that Ramirez tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs and has been suspended 50 games by Major League Baseball. The commissioner???s office did not specify what exactly Ramirez tested positive for, but Ramirez issued a statement saying that the positive test stemmed from a medication that was prescribed by a doctor. ???Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now,??? said Ramirez. But, wait, it gets much better. Yahoo! Sports reported that the substance Ramirez tested positive for is a ???sexual enhancer??? is supposed to boost sex drive.??? What, Viagra didn???t do the job? The drug Ramirez reportedly tested positive for is referred to as HCG ??? obtained from a Miami-based physician ??? and is most commonly used by women with fertility issues. HCG is also used to trigger testosterone production, proving to be convenient for men whose testosterone levels have been dramatically decreased due to past steroid use. Yahoo! Sports quoted an anonymous source, one who claimed to be close to Ramirez, and the source indicated that HCG is not a steroid or human growth hormone (HGH). There is no test currently available for HGH. What is interesting is that the report stated that Ramirez tested positive for the substance during spring training, and it wasn???t until a recent second test turned up positive that any action is taken. Did nobody notify Manny Ramirez in spring training that he tested positive? Did Major League Baseball keep this information to itself? Did the Dodgers not pay enough attention? Is Manny Ramirez just that ignorant, like a lot of famous athletes are? We need answers. But when are professional athletes going to figure it out? Figure out the fact that they are being paid millions of dollars to be on the field and perform, and they cannot trust anybody other than team doctors and MLB officials to authorize the intake of any substance? It???s not as if the players haven???t been warned. In this age of steroids and sports, professional athletes should make sure their bottle of Advil is okay to take before popping a couple of those after taking a fastball to the ribs. Why even risk testing positive for anything and facing a subsequent suspension? Any substance, prescribed or not, should be checked directly through MLB, and then if you come up positive on a test, then it is MLB who will have to face the bullets. If Manny really didn???t knowingly take anything that would be deemed foul by baseball???s drug policy, why isn???t he appealing his suspension? He had that right, but waived it after consulting the Players??? Association. But, apparently, Manny is going to take his 50-game vacation with a smile, which began Thursday night with the Dodgers hosting the Washington Nationals. He???ll return to the lineup on July 3 against the San Diego Padres. ???I do want to say one other thing; I???ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons. I want to apologize to [Dodgers owner Frank] McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, [manager Joe] Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I???m sorry about this whole situation,??? Ramirez said Thursday. Hey, Manny? Nobody cares. At this point it doesn???t matter how many drug tests have been passed, how many clean seasons have been played, or how many pharmaceutical prescriptions have gone aloof. If a player is suspended for testing positive for a substance that he did not have examined directly by MLB before taking, it???s his own fault and he has nobody to blame. It???s unfortunate, but Manny Ramirez is just another guy who will always been stamped as a cheater. But ???sorry???s??? and sob stories aren???t good enough anymore, because there is so much information made available to the players about the sport???s drug policy and they have plenty of resources ??? including a Hot Line that was created in the wake of the Mitchell Report ??? to help them sidestep any performance-enhancing minefields. In the end, it???s the fans that suffer, not the suspended player. I wonder how this is going to go over in ???Mannywood???, Section 53 at Dodger Stadium that the Dodgers dubbed after their rock star? A marketing ploy that consists of two ???Mannywood??? t-shirts and two tickets for the convenient price of $99 just sunk to the bottom of the Pacific because Section 53 cannot provide a home for the waves of Manny worshipers that have swept over Chavez Ravine since the slugger landed in L.A. at the trading deadline last season. Well, at least not until July 3, but I can???t imagine it will have the same feel. Then again, the Dodgers have carved out a niche of fans that rock their eyes to Manny like a salivating dog does to a pork chop, creating the perfect pendulum that was designed to build momentum, not destroy hype. The baseball fan in me is still sad about what this means for yet another one of the game???s greatest players. Manny has had a remarkable career, and may be defined as the best right-handed hitter ever. Ramirez is currently 17th all time in home runs and 19th all time in RBIs, but forget about those numbers because he just got tossed in the soiled laundry basket that he now shares with Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez, Rafael Palmeiro and others. Manny, for his numerous clubhouse faults, has always been a guy that embodied the free spirit and zeal of competition, a guy who was so fascinating to watch because he actually looked like he loved being on the field, as simple as that sounds. The dream of playing Major League Baseball is too often painted to be a chore by players who want to collect checks and dissipate. But the pedigree is meaningless now, as it is doubtful Manny Ramirez will ever be inducted into the Hall of Fame; the same can be said for the aforementioned names. Throw in Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa, and that is quite a handful of players who left an indelible mark on the history of baseball, and yet their careers won???t be documented in the ultimate light, the annals of Cooperstown. Past generations were raised on the lore of baseball and the thrill of sport, but this generation, and probably the next one too, has been raised on suspicion, dishonesty, and false beliefs. We should still enjoy going to games and following our favorite teams and players, but we also should take what we see as a byproduct of a generation that lied to its fans. Not like that hasn???t happened before. Leave it to the idiosyncratic Manny Ramirez to be the first player to test positive for a drug that enhances performance on AND off the field. Leave it to Major League Baseball to become the quintessential laughingstock. And leave it to the fans to exercise their perfectly appropriate right to pull their caps down and snicker. Teddy Mitrosilis plays baseball and studies journalism at Long Beach City College. He is a staff writer for the Most Valuable Network???s baseball blog, Around The Majors at www.mvn.com/aroundthemajors. Read more of Teddy???s work at http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/tm4000.