FanNation - The Republic of Sport

(Aaron Torres is an accomplished journalist who's work has been published by Sports Illustrated, USA Today and Slam Online.  To read all of his work, and this entire column, please visit him at www.aarontorres-sports.com.  Also check back later this week for Part 2 of how Aaron would change sports). 

I watch a lot of sports, and when something needs fixing, I make note of it.  So when a friend recently asked me what I'd change, I reeled off several things off the top of my head.  To get us through the long summer months, in no particular order, here is Part One, of everything I'd fix in the sporting world.

Brett Favre Corollary:

It's become a summer right of passage.  Barbeque on Memorial Day, go to the beach, set off some fireworks on the 4^th of July, and of course watch Brett Favre wallow in his decision to retire, like a teenage girl standing at a CVS counter for 10 minutes, unsure which brand of make-up to buy.

Every year it's the same deal with this guy.  Favre feverishly announces his retirement, sometimes even throwing out some tears for good measure.  He follows that up by going to the local high school, and tossing a few balls to the kids, you know, basically Mother Teresa in football pads.  And then a week or so later Chris Mortensen's blackberry begins overheating, culminating with Favre on an NFL sideline and Mort at the Cingular store getting a new phone.

Look, I understand that Favre is an aging athlete, and is having trouble coming to grips with what his post NFL life will be like.  We see it in every business and profession across America.  That's why at the job you work, ole' Mitch gets moved from CEO to corner office, to making sure the coffee pot is always full.  Sometimes you can't force someone out, so you slowly phase them out instead.  And hopefully that's what the NFL is doing with Favre.

Because lets be honest, aren't we all sick of Favre hijacking our summers?  It could be 75 and sunny, but there's always a big dark cloud overhead when Favre isn't under contract.  Something needs to be done.  And that's why one of my changes in sports has to be the "Brett Favre Corollary."

It's simple really, and can save everyone a lot of headaches in the process.  First of all, at no point is Favre, or anyone else forced to make a retirement announcement.  Until the actual announcement happens, the player is still on the roster, or if they're a free agent, allowed to sign with any team willing to take on their rotting corpse.

However, once an announcement is made, whether it's by news conference, e-mail or through your barber down the block, there is a 48-hour window before the announcement becomes official.  If no change takes place after that 48-hour buffer zone, the player must stay retired for one calendar year of the original announcement.  End of story.  No flip-flopping, no indecisiveness.  Just one sound decision.

I know this whole thing sounds stupid, and may ultimately only apply to one guy, but it helps everyone.

For starters, I can't imagine any player will announce their retirement, unless they are 100 percent committed to it, the risk would be too much.  But in a unique case like Favre's it covers everyone.

The player has to really think about the decision before they make it, but still has two full days to determine if it's what they want.  Should the player stay retired, they can always come back the following year.

It also covers the coaching and front office staff of any given team, because they can prepare for the upcoming season without the uncertainty of who will be available, and in what capacity.  And of course it covers the fan, who won't be subjected to three straight weeks of Favre or anyone else dominating every headline in sports, even when there is no news to report.

Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't.  But one thing's for sure.  Like an old dog that can't make it up the stairs, Favre needs to be put out of his misery.  This should do the trick... At least for 365 days. 

(Agree with Aaron? Disagree let him know at www.aarontorres-sports.com).

John Calipari and Kentucky Basketball Need Their Own Reality TV Show

Forget Coach K, Ben Howland and Jim Boeheim.  Those guys are week.  Last week.

No one in college basketball is more adored by his home fan base, while at the same time equally loathed by everyone else from opposing coaches, to players, to beer vendors than John Calipari.  With Memphis and Conference USA in his rearview mirror, Calipari has brought his three-ring circus to college's basketball's biggest stage.  That's right, folks, Calipari is now part of Big Blue nation at the University of Kentucky.

With Calipari there always comes a cloud of question and concern after every step he takes, every text he sends.  Of course he also comes to town with a pretty impressive resume.  Try 30 wins for four straight seasons (the only coach in NCAA history to do that) on for size.  How you like them apples?

And even more exciting he'll be patrolling the sidelines of the University of Kentucky next year, a place where basketball is not only important, but a way of life.   Boy is this going to be fun.

Since arriving in Lexington, Calipari has already marked his territory like a Great Dane at a fire hydrant, bringing one of the best recruiting classes in the history of college basketball.  And that's with only three months in Kentucky under his belt.

Of course in true Calipari fashion, with the good comes the bad, as he has already ruffled feathers by "politely asking," certain players to leave the program to make room for his super-sized recruiting class.  And that's just a minor blip on the radar on what could be coming down on Calipari.

Remember, shortly after Calipari left Memphis, it was revealed that a pair of players who may have been part of several wins in his tenure- including maybe the most talented player who ever played at Mephis, Derrick Rose- may have cheated on their college entrance exams.  But hey, that's just another day in Calipari-land.

If I haven't already convinced you that this reality show would work, let's dig further into the possibilities.

Like the day freshman point guard John Wall gets to campus, almost assuredly the No. 1 pick in next year's draft.  What happens when he hurts his draft stock with a 2-13 shooting performance with one assist and eight turnovers in late February?  Does he mail in the next game?  Does he go into, "I've got to get mine mode," with 25 NBA scouts in the stands?  Tune in Wednesday to find out.

And how about the inevitable holy wars between Calipari and his two biggest college basketball nemesis' Rick Pitino and Bruce Pearl?

Calipari will have to play each at least once annually, and if you think that John Chaney threatening to beat him up 10 years ago was a big deal, you haven't seen anything yet.  I can already hear the commercial tease now, Calipari-Pitino.  Kentucky-Louisville.  Heidi and Lauren have nothing on these two.  The Bloodbath in the Bluegrass.   Live from Lexington after these words from our sponsors.

And that's just the on the court stuff.  Could the other stuff top it?  I think it might.

Like in episode one, when we find out which of the four highly touted McDonald's All-American's is first to puke at a frat party, with the after show telling us how many millions the player lost when the clip hit Youtube.  Or when the team managers mysteriously sneak out in the middle of night and head to an ATM before "picking up," a player.  And how about when half of the Kentucky squad "forgets" what their class schedule is once second semester starts.  My oh my, I can barely contain myself.

Even Calipari's recruiting visits would be must see TV.  Can't you just imagine Calipari, his slicked back hair shining off a freshly polished trophy, trying to woo the next big high school hot shot?

I certainly could, and you better believe I'd wait for scenes from the next episode, when Calipari not only offers the kid a starting position, but his cousin/AAU coach/guardian a job as Director of Basketball Operations.

The show could even have a cheesy name like "Cal's Crew," or if the season goes down the tubes "Lexington Blues."  Get out the smelling salts, I may pass out right now.

Regardless, I think it's safe to say that it in this case, it doesn't matter if Kentucky takes home a National Championship.  Because when "Cal's Crew," hits the air, I can promise you this, we'll all be winners.

Eric Mangini can no longer be referred to as the "Man Genius."

Ever.

Sure it fit when he led a woe-be-gone Jets team to the playoffs in his first year.  But did you see how he coached the team down in 2007 and 2008?  I'm sorry, but the "Man Genius" nickname should have been retired the second the Jets lost to the Raiders in Oakland last October.  If not a year sooner.

Of course Mangini was fired by the Jets in the winter, but quickly landed another job in Cleveland, where he just as quickly ostracized by his new team - the Browns- by trying to force his players to attend a summer camp he was running.

Now in Mangini's defense he did get a lot of flack.  Of course he did also want to bus his players from Cleveland to attend the camp.  Where was the camp you ask?  Toledo?  Cincinnati?  No folks, but beautiful Hartford, Conn.!

Wow really coach?  So let me get this straight, you wanted to bus professional athletes half way across the country for your own camp?  Way to make a first impression.  Why didn't you just have them pick up aluminum cans along the highway as a team fundraiser?  That would have been a good bonding experience as well.

As far as I can tell, this guy isn't the next Belichick (someone Magnini was compared to early in his career), but Clark Griswold with a clipboard.  Simply put, he can't get out of his own way.

My guess for Mangini's future?  Selling bad instructional videos out the trunk of his car by 2014.

(To read the remainder of this article, please visit Aaron at www.aarontorres-sports.com, and make sure to check back later this week for Part 2 of How Aaron Would Change Sports)