I'm back and you know what that means? Well, besides locking up the women and children. And hiding the good silver. And changing the locks. It's time for your NFL power rankings.

Let me recap because there are a lot of new people on FN who have probably never seen my rank rankings. And there are a lot of old people on FN who wish they hadn't seen them.

This will be my 3rd year doing power rankings. I only rank the top 10 teams. I don't have the time or patience to rank all 32 teams. And besides, it's only the top 10 that really matter. Here are the rules I follow for coming up with my rankings:

1. They are based soley on my opinion of who I think are the 10 best teams in the NFL
2. I don't give a rat's patootie if you disagree
3. Feel free to disagree, but I never have nor will I ever change my rankings because someone disagrees.
4. For all other concerns, refer to rule #2

Over the years my weekly NFL blogs have evolved. I used to do 3 blogs a week - Monday Morning Musings, Power Rankings, and Weekly picks. I do not have time or the patience to do 3 blogs per week. So I will partially combine all the blogs. Every Monday I will post my MMM and Power Rankings. I know teams play on Monday night, but I don't care. I will neither raise nor drop teams that are playing Monday night.

Instead of doing a weekly picks blog, which takes a heck of a lot of work, I may pick a handful of games each week and incorporate them into this blog.

So with further ado (or further adon't)...I'm sorry. I'll leave the comedy to the profesionals. Let me 'splain...no that will take too long...lemme sum up the format of my blogs and present  you the first Power Rankings of the new season.

5 SONGS ON MY 8-TRACK

1.  Vida La Vida - Coldplay
2. Lose My Soul - Toby Mac
3. The Road Goes on Forever - Robert Earl Keene
4. Someday - Nickelback
5. Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

MONDAY MORNING MUSINGS

 Well, I don't have a lot to say so I'll make this section quick. Does anybody really care about preseason. All preseason does is give a lot of fans false hope..ahem*cough*Lions, Bengals, Browns*cough*Raiders*cough*...

In future blogs I'll actually have something coherent to put here. Until then, feel free to see rule #2.

OXYGEN DEPRIVED PREDICTIONS

 Here are 5 predictions for the upcoming season:

1. The Vikings will start out the first half at something like 6-2 and everyone will be hailing Favre. Then they will finish 8-8 and out of the playoffs.
2.  Even though he is a prissy, whiny little pissant, Cutler will have a better year in Chi-town than Orton will at Mile High.
3. The Toronto Bills will fall in love with TO's unselfish attitude and will wonder what all the fuss was about......until next season.
4. Rainman Jones will show that he is an over rated chump in two countries after he fails in the CFL.
5. The Cowboys will win the Superbowl.

POWER RANKINGS

 Ok, this is the section everyone's been waiting for. The first power rankings of the season.

1. Steelers - Well, they are the defending Superbowl champs so that makes them the #1 team until they lose a game. I have done this each season - the SB winner gets the #1 spot until they lose.
2. Patriots - I don't like it any more than you do, but if Brady truly is 100% look out they just may be better than the almost undfeated Pats of the year before last.
3. Ravens - Call me crazy (I know, you already did) but there's just something about this team. They finally have an offense they can rely on.
4. Giants - I know there is a big question mark at receiver, and hardly anyone respects Eli, but you can't argue with that fact that they can get the job done. And they are still the team to beat in the NFC East.
5. Cardinals - I have to be honest here. With all due respect to my friend Azcardsfan, the only reason they start out in my top 5 is because they played in the Superbowl. If warner goes down they are done for.
6. Titans - How can I have them out of the top 5? Well, after you refer back to rule #2, they went from being the Titans to being pipsqueaks in the playoffs. And as with the Cards, if they lose Collins, they will quickly find themselves in the basement.
7. Colts - You can say what you want, but this is another team that gets the job done. Quick, how many other teams have had as many consecutive 12 win seasons as the Colts? Time's up. The answer is none.
8. Falcons - They turned me into a believer last season. Let's see how they handle a tougher schedule now.
9. Panthers - They turned into kittens in the playoffs so let's see which team shows up to start the season. It may be a very short stay here.
10. Eagles - Gah, it kills me to have 2 NFC East teams here and neither one of them are the Cowboys. But Philly did what they had to do to make the playoffs last season. So I can't deny them the chance to at least start out in the top 10.
11. Harry Callahan - Well, this is the only spot that really matters. And who else can I put here other than my best bud on FN?

On the verge:

• Dolphins
• Texans
• Cowboys
• Love It Hate It
• Wildfan
• Kp Kahder

KEEPING IT REAL

This is my favorite portion of the blog. It also gives you a chance to bail if you don't care. This is where I reveal tidbits of information about myself. Not quite making myself vulnerable, but just enough to give blog followers and friends a chance to know me better. In the past I have used this section to brag about my kids, for instance my 7th grade bassoon player or my 9th grader who is only the 3rd Freshman in his school's history to play the snare on the drum line. I have also chronicled my struggles and lessons while teach my sons what it means to be a REAL man. I will probably share some more of that, as well as a little bragging. Maybe I'll share bits of short stories I work on when the occasion allows. But mostly, this section is going to be just that - putting everything else aside and just keep it real. And I would be remiss if I didn't shout out J. Hova for indirectly giving me the idea to have a keeping real part of my blogs.

So there you have it FanNation. The first of a bonafide weekly NFL blog.