Here it is my 2009 predictions, because I absolutely know that all of you know who I am and care what I think...
Anyways by division...
Pittsburgh Steelers- (11-5) Steelers start season off strong but consecutive years of extended seasons (i.e. long playoff runs) start to exert a visible wear and tear of Big Ben and Co. They will be a solid top echelon team, but something will be visibly missing.
Cincinnati Bengals- (10-6) Surprise team of the league. The offense nearly regains its 2006 form and in some ways could be improved. The defense is the big surprise as Marvin Lewis finnally makes his mark there and the Bengals field top ten squads on both sides of the ball. The special teams will also be solid.
Baltimore Ravens- (8-8) Not necessarily a crash back to earth, but the Ravens will be clearly aging in some positions and still too young in others. The recent string of postional and coach defections will finnally leave its mark.
Cleveland Browns- (4-12) Woe will be the dawg pound this year. A team that is perpetually stuck in rebuilding mode will spend another season there expecting the next to be better under Mangenious. On a lighter note, Shaun Rogers will finnally blossom into an elite , AND CONSISTENT, player in an effort to prove Mangini wrong about him.
Houston Texans (10-6): In a division that will surprise the league by offering up 3 10-6 teams, Houston will be the one to take the tape as it has the greatest success in the divisional games. They won't be elite and look like a juggernaut, but they will be good.
Indianapolis Colts (10-6): Narrowly loosing the division to the Texans on the final meeting between the two teams, the Colts will exact revenge in the playoffs. It won't be a parody of the elite Colt teams we have seen over the past two years, but they will still be a top ten squad.
Tennessee Titans (10-6): The bridesmaid of the AFC South, they will be a good team this year. The offense will be solid and the D will be in the top ten. However, Collins will not be able to repeat his success and Vince Young will be called to replace him. The D will also be missing something big. Very big in fact. Albert Haynesworth sized big.
Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11): Boy where to start here huh? There will be improvement over last year, though it may not look like it at times. The lack of recieving targets will be evident and Jones-Drew and Garrad will break down at some point in the season. The defense however, will be a bright point. Perhaps next year?
New England Patriots- (12-4) Brady's back, though he won't be quite the same early in the season. That said the Pats have to pieces and the schedule to work him back into shape. In a division that is suppossed to be one of the toughest, the Patriots will make it look easy.
Miami Dolphins- (9-7) A fall from their miraculous 2008 season will be inevitable, but this team will actually be better than the year before. A tough schedule will cause them to narrowly miss out on the playoffs. Pat White will be a rookie phenom in his wildcat role.
New York Jets- (7-9) The Jets will be in rebuilding mode, as much as they don't like to admit it. As much as they'd like to believe that they have found the next Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco, they will find out early on they did not. Mark Sanchez will be a Franchise Quarterback, but his team just doesn't have the parts and schedule for him to look it this year.
Buffalo Bills- (6-10) The T.O. show north will be a roaring success, just not on the field. Twitter will be alive with his frustration and Buffalo will have to follow the example of Philadelphia and lock T.O. out of the facility to gain any sense of sanity back. It will not be all Team Obliterators fault as the ineptidue of the coaching staff and lack of talent depth will be evident.
San Diego- (13-3) The exception of the division will be the best. San Diego will become an early Super Bowl favorite and absolutely demolish the division. Tomlinson will thrive in his so called "two-back" role with Utility Man Sproles and the Chargers offense will roll. The defense will again be lights out with Merriman back and the special teams will be solid as always. Could this be the year Norv Turner gets the monkey off his back?
Oakland Raiders- (5-11) Had to pick one of the three right? In a rare change of history the team with the least sanity in the league will not be in the bottom half of its division. Al Davis will call this a sign from the Gods that the Raiders are destined for the Super Bowl shortly before Tom Cable throws a punch at him and is fired with cause. In a odd turn of events Davis will ask for Shannahan to come back as coach, proving that he has now truly lost touch with reality.
Kansas City Chiefs- (4-12) The New England influence will be evident, but it still won't be enough to save this season. Matt Cassel will prove to be an effective starter, though not an elite one. The defense will make strides and while the offense will be in need of playmakers. Fans will begin to wonder "What happened to Larry Johnson?"
Denver Broncos- (2-14) The curse of Shanahan will strike in Mile High City as Josh McDaniels stuggles with the reality that he is indeed not Bill Belichick. The O-Line will be outsanding, unfortunately the success ends there. Moreno will play like a rookie, Orton will look like a rookie, and the defense will be full of rookies. Long season in the Rockies.
Minnesota Vikings- (11-5) Broadway Brett will again be home on the Tundra and will actually play well for once in the Metrodome (or twice...). AP will prove to once again be the best back in the NFL. The Purple People Eaters will once again live in Minnesota.
Green Bay Packers- (10-6) Green Bay will narrowly loose the division race to Minnesota at the end of the season. The new 3-4 defense will be a hit and Araon Rodgers will move into the elite ranks of Quarterbacks. The Cheeseheads will get the last laugh by topping the Minnesota Bretts in the Playoffs.
Chicago Bears- (10-6) The bears will struggle within the division, but play quite well outside of it. The defense will surprisingly return to form that the addition of a certain spoiled Quarterback will give new life to the Offense. Now only if they had some recievers...
Detroit Lions- (3-13) Lions will have more roar in them this season, as the record of actually not losing 16 games in one season will prove. Johnson will be fantasitic on offense. Unfortunately he doesn't play every single other position on the field. Stafford will have growing pains, and Culpepper will step in at some point, which won't necessarily be a bad thing.
New Orleans Saints- (11-5) Worst to first is the way it always seems to work in this division and the Good Ole' Saints will prove that true. The new agressive defense will remind many of the 2006 Bengals squad, by leading the league in turnovers and differntial. Every game in New Orleans will be an offensive derby, but the Saints will make a habit of marching out on top.
Atlanta Falcons- (9-7) The second of last years two wonder teams will have a similar fate to the first. The offense will make strides and still be formidable, but the defense will take a step back. Narrowly missing out on the playoffs will still be considered a success for this young dirty bird squad.
Carolina Panthers- (7-9) The kittens that showed up towards the end of last season will stick around to play this year. Delhomme will finally start to show his age, particularly when Steve Smith starts feeling overly compettitive and challenges him to a boxing match, which Sucker-Punch Steve wins.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers- (5-11) This years NFL version of a JV squad will not be as bad as some think thanks to the palatable quarterbacking of Byron Leftwich. Unfortunately a squad full of no-names will stay that way, making for a not-so-delicious season for the Bucs.
Philadelphia Eaggles- (10-6) In a not so big surprise, the Iggles will be the cream of the AFC East crop. The offseason moves will pay off in a big way, even though the record won't neccessarily reflect it. Michael Vick, coincidentally, will not have as big of an impact as many think he will.
New York Giants- (9-7) Eli will prove that he still isn't really an Elite QB, but more of an excellent game manager. Jacobs will break down at some point and Bradshaw will prove to be nothing more that an excellent change-of-pace back. The lack of proven starting recievers will hurt, but the Defense will be outstanding.
Dallas Cowboys- (9-7) Missing out on the playoffs with an overpriced and overtalented squad will send Jerry Jones into a rage the likes of which the earth has never seen. In an effort to restore team chemistry he will trade/exile himself to Buffalo, hoping that the cooler climate will quell his anger. This will work until he realizes that Terrel Owens lives down the block starting a storm that will end all sentient life on earth.
Washington Redskins- (7-9) Feeling left out in the press coverage that Hurricane Jerry is recieving Dan Snyder will attempt to sign the worlds largest hurricane to a ludicrous contract to play for his team. This experiment will fail causing Snyder to fall into a deep slumber, allowing Jim Zorn and Jason Cambell to finally come to terms that neither truly fit on this squad.
Seattle Seahawks- (9-7) While not necessarily running away with the division, the Snow Birds will clearly be the best team within it. Unfortunately the O-Line will be quite inadequate causing Matt Hasselbeck to run for his life. T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Edgerrin James, seeing his plight will attempt to take more that a few bullets for him, unfortunatley their assailents will be using fully automatic rifles. A memorial service will be held in honor of their sacrifice.
Arizona Cardinals- (8-8) The Super Bowl Hangover will prove true in the desert. Kurt Warner will finnally loose his Iron Man abilites and Anquan Boldin will prove to be too much of a distraction. The defense will also take a step back. Matt Leinart will finnally start to look like a serviceable quarterback towards the end of the season, however.
San Francisco 49ers- (7-9) Shaun Hill will be an average QB, but the defense will improve. Frank Gore will break down at one point due to the exaggerated workload he will recieve. Josh Morgan will breakout causing Mike Singletary to declare that Michael Crabtree doesn't need to ever sign a contract. While scolding the former Red Raider, Singletary while curiously have his pants around his ankles.
St. Louis Rams- (5-11) Steve Spagnulo will get the Rams to play with more fire this year, but things will not really look that much better. Jackson, like his counterpart in 'Frisco, will break down due to a heavy workload this year. The Rams will finnally realize that Marc Bulger is no longer a Franchise QB.