On Sunday Padraig Harrington won the 2007 British Open, or rather Sergio Garcia choked it away. Afterwards Garcia said "It's not the first time. It's not the first time, unfortunately. So, I don't know, I'm playing against a lot of guys out there, more than the field." While I can't agree that outside forces are out to get Sergio we can all agree on the fact that this isn't his first choke job. There are rumors that Heimlich maneuver sponsors are offering him a lifetime contract. And Greg Norman just called Sergio to tell him to **** about bad breaks. Sergio's next excuse? "My dog ate my putter."
Speaking of endorsements, Michael Vick jerseys have dropped from 4th highest in the NFL to 33rd. Fans have scattered quicker than when Kobayashi had a "reversal of fortune" in the 4th of July Hot Dog contest. Ironically enough the only company willing to endorse Michael Vick is Jimbo's Doghouses, fitting because noone currently is in the doghouse more than Vick.
Barry Bond's pursuit of Hank Aaron's home run record has gone on longer than the god awful "Who's Now?" competition on ESPN. When Bonds breaks the record teammates have decided that instead of carrying Bonds on their shoulders they will hold his head off the ground as he runs around the bases. Seriously, I'd carve a pumpkin for Halloween to look like Bonds' face but I can't find a gourd big enough. To be honest, if Bonds continues his current drought then Bud Selig may have to save face and push Barry's wheelchair around the basepath when he finally breaks the record in 2020.
(Funny sidenote, my cousin's kid for Halloween last year was a modern era baseball player. He had fake muscles in his shirt and a syringe taped to his butt.)
The New York Yankees and their fans have awakened from their early season coma, taking advantage of the weakest teams in the AL. While there is reason for excitement (any sign of life in the Yanks is reason for excitement at this point) I would advise George Steinbrenner to spend some money purchasing copies of the New York Times for all his fans so they can look at the standings. As of today the Sox are ahead by 7 and 1/2 games, the largest gap of any division leader. The owners of the Six Flags Theme Park are in works to make a rollercoaster called the New York Yankees experience. Sadly you must have a 50 million dollar contract to ride.