FanNation

With the 7th book of Jo Rowling's series out I can't help but wonder what would have followed. Since Potter is but a 17-year-old lad in the book (which I will eventually read when my wife polishes it off) I give you a dose of reality should Harry make it 'professionally' in the future.....because of this I am thankful they are ending the series when they are....good kid and we don't need this kind of corruption!

At age 21....his wizarding skills unquestioned (I mean not even LeBron has been covered more in his youth) Harry Potter is signed as first professional wizard in a pro sport. What sport? All of them. The Yankees, Lakers, Cowboys and NY Rangers all sign him to the biggest contracts ever. He also shoots an amazing 55-54-42-38 in four rounds to earn his PGA Tour Card. Nike gives him a bigger deal than Tiger, Michael and Bo Jackson combined. As insurance he hexes all sports ruling bodies to ensure they never outlaw the magic wand. MARRIED TO: Posh Spice (the former Mrs. Beckham) FAVORITE PICK UP LINE: "I'm a magical being...now take off your clothes."

At age 24....three fulls seasons at all sports and all is well. He has yet to be tackled, commit a foul, be checked or strike out. He has broken Joe D's hit streak (he goes 3-4 every game just to keep it honest.) Each of the aforementioned teams have won back-to-back-to-back titles. MARRIED TO: Katie Holmes (the former Mrs. Cruise) FAVORITE PICK UP LINE: "If you thought Xenu was real you'll be blown away by my wand!"

At age 27....he's set every scoring record and consecutive title streak in every major sport. Rumors are circulating that this 'can't be natural.' Curt Schilling states he saw Harry getting a package of the 'cream' and 'clear' by two tall redheaded twins that enjoyed finishing each other's sentences. Word is also on the street he was keeping NBA games scoring down the last year inferring point-shaving. MARRIED TO: Brad Pitt (now a woman named Loretta) (the former Mrs. Jolie) FAVORITE PICK UP LINE: "Kiss me....I'm as magically delicious as Lucky Charms."

At age 31....retired for the past two years and is hiding out with Mark McGuire somewhere in Nepal. Sources from all sports are coming forward with everything from performance enhancers to gambling allegations. It also turns out he has beaten the illigitament fatherhood records of Evander Holyfield, Steve Garvey and Shawn Kemp, combined. MARRIED TO: Name unpronouncable, but a hottie Nepalise chick that is also a mountain sherpa (the former Mrs. Cruise, again) FAVORITE PICK UP LINE: "Yeah, I went to Hogwarts, but I guarantee you there are no warts to be found!"

At age 35....triumphant return to England. Greeted as a national hero for single-handedly bringing down all four major American sports (seen by some as more difficult than bringing down the nastiest of wizards or beasts.) Signs on to bring Newcastle back from oblivion and they take the next two FA Cups. He then retires for good, seeking a quiet place in the country. The whole country. He buys England and kicks everyone else out. All of his kids are in line to go to Hogwarts and he has so many the Gryffindor tower must be expanded to the size of the Patronus Towers MARRIED TO: This is 14 years down the road, so we'll say Elle MacPherson's hottie daughter by this point. FAVORITE PICK UP LINE: "Yeah, I was a seeker in school...a skirt seeker!"

The moral....thanks Jo Rowling for a great series and I thank you for not dragging it out. I look forward to the 7th book and I look forward to eventually reading them to my kids.