I recently did a throwdown on this topic with Coletrain, and not only did he give good ideas, but so did many other people, so here is my semi-serious, semi-satirical attempt to better Rick Reilly
nomarfan8- In my opinion, I think it would send a huge message to Bonds if everyone in the stands is completely SILENT when Bonds breaks the record. No booing, he hears that every day, and no cheers, because he won't get many of those unless he hits it at SBC park. It would be a way to show Bonds of the fans disregard and/or contempt towards him, that Aaron will still be the home run king in many people's eyes. I'm not saying this will happen, because it would be incredibly hard to silence everyone in the stadium, but i am saying this would be the classiest way to display your dislike of Bonds
ColeTrain- You know the best way to say to Bonds no one cares or no one likes him: don't go to the games. Don't pay to see him. Now, of course, this will never happen. But can you imagine what Bonds would do if no one showed up and he broke it? Priceless. Now once again, I'm not saying this will happen. Because it won't. But if no one is there, he is doing it in front of empty seats. That is the best way.
nomarfan8- everyone could simaltaneously say IRON CURTAIN, Cole would like that
PhillyFan- If you catch the ball, the best way would be to throw it back. But that might not be good because then Bonds might get it. I say blow it up with fireworks.
mikesteelnation1-NOOOOO!!!!! Sell that ball back to Bonds for lots of MONEY!!! I swear if some idiot gives him that ball in exchange for a signed bat, program, and jersey I'll puke.....
PhillyFan- The only way I'd give Bonds the ball is if he signed a paper saying he took steroids.
Adam Lee- What if the entire crowd, including the umps and players, simultaneously just urinated on him as he ran around the bases? I think that'd be epic.
louuuu- i say who ever catches the ball throws it back.
The Prof, ripping off Reilly- *Light one of his baseball cards and hold it up like a Bic at a concert.
*Catch the ball and throw it back. You'll never have to pay for a beer the rest of your life.
*Hold up four fingers on each hand - 44 - Hank Aaron's number. (or if you want to do it my way, keep 4 fingers down on each hand leaving a certain finger up)
*Hold up a big sign: SEVEN FILTHY SIX.
*Women, pull a black veil over your face. Men, pin on a black carnation.
*Call the Federal Correctional Institution in Dublin, Calif., and ask to speak to Greg Anderson. He's the convicted steroids dealer - and Bonds' personal trainer and friend - who's spent 10 months in jail for refusing to testify before a grand jury looking into possible perjury and tax evasion charges against Bonds. Ask Anderson what he's going to want from Bonds when he gets out. Like, say, Florida.
*Hold up a big sign: FLAXSEED WORKS!
*Squirt juice out of a giant syringe.
*Get Bonds' autograph at the ballpark - on the bottom of an affidavit that reads "I set this record with the help of performance-enhancing drugs. I am a very large jerk for doing so."
*Remind yourself that they put a gold medal around Ben Johnson's neck for a while, too.
*Jump onto the field and give commissioner Bud Selig a huge, for he's a Milwaukee native who lvoed watching Hank Aaron, and his fondest wish was probably to see Bonds fall down an elevator shaft.
*Pull out a copy of Game of Shadows - by San Francisco Chronicle writers Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams - and begin reading aloud about how Bonds used steroids, human growth hormone, insulin, testosterone decanoate, bovine steroids and female fertility drugs to help him set this record. And then watch Bonds step on home and point to God.
Nomarfan8- i would throw sheets of iron in the design of a curtain at him
mikesteelnation1- No coletrain- We could have Peyton throw pizza at him... while riding a unicycle and wearing a fish.... lol
mikesteelnation1, later elaborated on by myself and Cole, - WAIT< WAIT< WAIT......... I GOT IT! Here is how the plan should go- the ONLY way to justify throwing the ball back is to quickly implant it with a high velocity, painless injector nozzle FULL of steriods, andro, and HGH with a remote trigger. As soon as Barry handles the ball, push the button- thereby delivering a HIGH dose of roids and ensuring he gets exposed come next test....
nomarfan8-BRILLIANT! ill get to work on it in my secret underground laboratory
Mikesteelnation1- Cole- you go and recruit some "plants" we can put in the outfield bleachers.......I'll get to work on getting us kayaks, paddles, and life preservers..... maybe some pugil sticks to ward off other boaters....
Mikesteelnation1- Nomar- in that underground lab see if you can engineer some great white shark repellant- lots of those in the bay... gotta stay safe- the plan doesn't work if our kayaker gets eaten...
And that is as on topic as we got, later digressing into allergies and a Kyle Lohse vs. Ervin Santana fight to the death involving lasers .
I am now including these digressions, deleting unnecessary posts
PhillyFan- Mike, that is genius. I wanna work in the underground lab!!!
Nomarfan8- fine, you can be my evil genius lab partner, we'll get to work in 0400 hours, but we will have to work fast, at the rapid pace that Bond's head is growing, he could hit 12 in the next day, so we must hurry, Cole, Mike, we are all counting on you to kill all in your way in your pursuit of the baseball
mikesteelnation1- Thats why I get paid the big bucks... my innovation and creativeness... lol (that was on my last year end review at work) lol
nomarfan8- This turned from a semi-reasonable Throwdown to some sort of Anti-Bonds cult, i love it!
Coletrain- WE HAVE TO GET ERVIN SANTANA IN THIS!!!
nomarfan8- AND KYLE LOHSE!
Coletrain- It can only be one, they will fight to the death. Wanna have a throwdown: Ervin Santana vs. Kyle Lohse!!!!
SteelerCooz- What the h3ll is going on?? All this Iron Curtain talk and I'm on the sidelines??
By the way, I agree with Adam - can we just make sure some splash-back gets on Selig? - and with Nomar - iron sheets definitely need to be tossed in his direction.
mikesteelnation1- How are they gonna fight? MMA style? OR Highlander, cut their heads off with a sword style????
Coletrain- A Game of tag involving lasers.lol
DJTG-2010- Lasers. Definitely Coletrain.
mikesteelnation1- Are yu allergic to them too DJTG??? lol We don't want you getting puffy skin, a rash, and some watery eyes and runny nose... gotta be careful... lol
Coletrain- We can also include some tigers somehow.
DJTG_2010- Wait, what am I allergic too? I'm allergic to dust mites, pollen, and cats.
I don't want to hold you guys back. I'll just show up to the ballpark in a biohazard suit. That won't tip anyone off or anything.
Coletrain- Ervin vs Kyle throwdown, right now!!!
mikesteelnation1- maybe we could ride tigers while playing with lasers????
DJTG_2010- No we can use genetically engineered cats that shoot lasers a la "Laser Cats" on SNL.
mikesteelnation1- On the way to the kayaks... where we would don our life preservers and use shark repellant before using pugil sticks on other boaters...
Then me and Cole had our Kyle Lohse vs. Ervin Santana Throwdown, but we will save that one for another blog.
Anyway, comment me with reactions to these ideas, or ideas of your own.