This is my second blog about things you will never hear in your life(at least you shouldn't). Enjoy, but you don't have to:
"Kyle Lohse Is Just The Guy We Needed To Make The Playoffs."
"Instead Of 16 Games, It Should Be Just 5 Games For The NFL Regular Season."
"I Threw Eggs At John McEnroe's Car."
"Victor Conte Is My Doctor."
"Vinny Testaverde Has Signed A 5 year, $30 million contract to play for the Boston Celtics."
"SI Needs To Get Better Writers."
"I Train Brazilian Banana Spiders In My Basement."
"This Website Runs Very Fast."
"Pete Kendall's New Nickname Is Mr. Happy."
"Ron Artest Is Now A Teacher."
"I'm Gonna Stab My Teammate In The Leg Because He Is Better Than Me At What I Do."
"Bob Ryan Should Be A Mime."
SB Pick: Vikings over Raiders. Cash The Check Right Now."
"Can Someone Please Explain to Me Why Joe Montana Is In The Hall Of Fame?"
"And Ted Williams, Too."
"Why Doesn't Alaska Have A NBA Team?"
"Going To A Baseball Game For The Family Is Such A Bargain...."
"Luis Castillo Is Annoying."
"I'm Already Getting Ready For Fantasy Hockey."
"Athletes Today Don't Get Enough Money. How Can They Feed There Family? And There Friends, Pets, Local Homeless People, Other Athletes, Prostitutes, Crazy Fans, Stalkers, Ex-Wives, Dealers, Burger King Guy, The List Goes On And On."
"Mike And Mike In The Morning Makes Me Smarter About Sports."
"Tony Dungy Talks Wwwwaaaaayyyyyyy Too Much. He Has Gotta Calm It Down."
"I Just Brought Charlie Weis' New Diet Book."
"Barry Bonds Official New Nickname Is Fonzie."
"Who's Now Is Scratching Me Where I Itch."
"Woody Paige Is Annoying."
"The Doors Suck." Seriously, I can't say this enough: NEVER SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!
"I Broke A Nail."
"I'M CALLING YOU OUT, RAY LEWIS!!!!!!!! Or Sh*t.................THUD!!!!!!!!!"
"Kevin Brown Has Been Brought Back To The Dodgers Because The Pitching Staff Is Basically In The Hospital."
"The Battle Of Greatest Sports Movie Ever Is Between Caddyshack 2 and The Bad News Bears Go To London."
"Best Stadium Song Is "It's Raining Men."
"This Blog Is Finished."
"Shaq Would Make A Good Clown."
"I Watch Golf For The Commercials."
"Mac Is Smart.....Again."
"I'm A Part Of The Hatroom/Atroo Grou."
"I'm Not Running Out Of Ideas."
"I Don't Look At The Pictures In The SI Swimsuit Issue. I Just Read The Articles."
"Ping Pong Is The New American Pastime."
This Blog Will Keep Going."