well here goes nothing:

"Baby i won't be gone long, i asked Al Davis to stay with you while im gone."

"AL DAVIS! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM ADAM!"

"The Boston Red Sox are underrated."

"Thank You for listening to my lesson on cheating, now heres a pack of Steroids for everyone take them every night and you'll not be allowed to come pack to this dump for bringing two loaded guns and a six pack, BAM!"

"Eli Manning is the best comparrsion to his brother."

"Aggasi, at a **** bar, no way."

"Attention class, here is your new teacher, give a round of appluse for Mr.Pacman Jones."

"Alright class, are first lesson is Proper Gun Holding techniques and the art of Hit and Run."

"Breaking News: A 1st Grader has just shot 12 victoms at a local pawn shop."

"Way to go Jenny, your getting an A this period!"(Pacman at home)

"So, how expensive were those first row Devil Rays tickets."

"What happened to Florida? There never good anymore."

"The Team Citizinship award goes to the Cincinatti Bengals and the Portland Trailblazers."

"Greg Oden has just one the youngest looking player in the NBA award."

"If we had a Do-Over draft i would choose Kevin Kolb for my first pick."

"And Brandon Jackson with the second."

"LETS START OVER!"