Troy O'Leary's Cow
Views
2488
Comments
0

Several days ago, our friend Lilwound tried his seasoned bloghand on a little poetry ("Inconsistent Ramblings" indeed).  The noble attempt met mostly with a sitewide paralysis of middling view statistics, confused commentary, and a fair amount of self-reproach.  Only here was the "outside the batter's box" effort applauded.  And now, we the editors at TO'LC get Lilwound's back.

Hold on.  Don't click away so fast.  Give it a chance.  We've selected as our subject (wait for it) ... The Boston Red Sox.  "All literary men are Red Sox fans," John Cheever once (semi-) famously said.  TO'LC can only conclude that "all" means poets, too. 

The format we have chosen for this experiment is the limerick.  Perhaps this is because the most famous protagonist in limerick history is that naughty "man from Nantucket," who, based on geography alone, was obviously a Red Sox fan.  Or maybe it's just because "limerick" kinda sounds like "Camerik."  You decide.  Here goes.

=============================
Hope springs inside Red Sox Nation
Quite strong looks the starting rotation
But no closer's touted
The bullpen's as crowded
As post-game outside Kenmore Station.
============================= 
Mighty Casey, the loser, struck out
All Mudville could do was just pout
But Beantown was happy
‘Cause they had Big Papi
Come clutch-time they'd shout then he'd clout.
============================= 
For children most hire a nanny
But in Fenway things are quite uncanny
The little boy cries
Sox brass then advise
We just must let Manny be Manny.
============================= 
Josh Beckett was one stubborn mister
Declared, "I just won't pop a blister."
Threw only his gas
The Yanks waxed his ass
Even called out his girlfriend and dissed her.
============================== 
Rice, Pedro, Fisk, Doerr, Mirabelli
Yaz, Williams, Pesky, Petrocelli
Lowell, Schilling, DiNardo
Hipolito Pichardo
Carl Beane, Mooney, Rowe, Ballgirl Kelly.
==============================
His gut was a big ball of Play-doh
Chaw jutting big like a tomato
El Tiante would pitch
His glove he would twitch
Then twist himself like a tornado.
==============================
And, you knew it was coming ...
The Curse of Bambino still pays
Its author in so many ways
Even made it to cable
But for a better Sox fable
Please go buy The Curse of Carl Mays.
============================== 

The off-season is really endless, isn't it? Crikey, how much longer until pitchers and catchers ...

UPDATE: The "Man from Nantucket" has been lighting up the switchboard at TO'LC, so to avoid legal troubles, the editorial board has chosen to appease him:

There once was a man from Nantucket
His role model was Kirby Puckett
Like a goalie in hockey
He was short and stocky
And hit with his foot in the bucket.
================================
UPDATE II:  There is a website devoted to Red Sox haiku, here.  Haiku blows chunks compared to the limerick, but we're all kindred spirits nonetheless.

Comment

Remember to keep your posts clean. Profanity will get filtered, and offensive comments will be removed.


Start Your Own Blog

Start Now

Truth & Rumors

MOST POPULAR

  1. 1
    Clippers, Warriors exchange barbs
    Views
    1075
    Comments
    436
  2. 2
    Time to penalize NHL's perennial losers?
    Views
    1509
    Comments
    275
  3. 3
    Girardi won't let Jeter get in the way
    Views
    534
    Comments
    149
  4. 4
    Hibbert: I'm the weak link
    Views
    708
    Comments
    105
  5. 5
    Report: Raiders to release Terrelle Pryor on Monday
    Views
    1627
    Comments
    61

SI.com

SI Photos