At the Super Bowl, one of the most interesting phenomenon was the sheer number of people wearing jerseys. At any sporting event, the percentage of people wearing jerseys is higher than in normal life...football being the highest from my informal survey. But when a big game hits, the percentage shoots up. Well, at the Super Bowl, I think the percentage was around 75%. And after starring into the sea of jerseys for several hours, I came up with a few rules for correct jersey wearing by fans...I'll admit I stole one from a magazine, but I'll cope to that.
Do not tuck the jersey in
Yes, the guys on the field do...but you're not on the field. Plus, you won't get fined by the League if you don't tuck it in. Plus, tucking in a jersey with uniform pants looks fine, it completes the look...tucking it into a pair of jeans or heaven forbid Khakis...you just look like a dork. Luckily, I only saw this twice...one Bears fan and one Colts fan...both were sporting the Jersey tucked into Khaki shorts...just a look that screams "I've never played sports in my life, and I really want someone to kick the crap out of me right now."
If you have a beer gut, think twice
Jerseys are one of the least flattering pieces of clothing. They accentuate the things that normal clothes work to hide...so if you have one of those gravity defying beer guts...the kind that look like a pregnant belly...think twice about the jersey.
Don't go Mainstream
If you walked around the Super Bowl, you would think that all Bears players wear 54 and all Colts players wear 18. That's all you saw...everywhere you looked, those were the jerseys everyone was wearing. If you're a "real" fan, show your support for one of the other guys out there...don't just blend in with all the other fair weather fans. You know for a fact if you ask Joe or Jane Blow on the street to name a Bears and Colts player...they would name Urlacher and Manning...and they might even be able to get their numbers right. But you're better than that, you know that your team is more than its star...don't be that guy.
Go old or obscure
You want a jersey that will get the respect of your fellow fans? Go for a retired player, or an obscure player on the current roster....and an old obscure player is even better. This establishes a few of the following:
You've been a fan for a long time (Old)
You really know this team (Either)
Maybe you know that person (Obscure)
What? You want proof? Sure. I had several people walk up to me, while sporting my Payton Jersey, and start talking about the Bears of the 80's. Meanwhile, Krish, sporting his Kyle Orton jersey got asked if he knew Kyle Orton. And trust me, the guys I had the most respect for in terms of jerseys? Anyone sporting an Offensive Lineman. What that says to me? This guy, really knows the game. So to all those guys that were wearing Kruetz and Saturday jerseys, cheers.
Your own name...don't do it
Every fan dreams of suiting up for his team...and some of these fans decide that since they will never play for their team, they'll go out and buy a jersey with their name on it. Don't be that guy. Sorry, this just looks sad. I mean, seeing a Bears jersey with "Dasgupta" on the back...everyone knows it doesn't look right...no one is going to say "Hey, did you play for the team?"...they're all instead going to think 2 things...
God, that guy is pathetic
What a waste of money
The solution? Either go out and join a sports team so you can get your name on your jersey, or be lucky enough to have a player with the same name...it's why when I was a kid I wanted a Raymont Harris jersey.
If you must, don't do it with a known number
So you don't heed my advice, and you really HAVE to have a jersey with your name on it. Fine, be that guy, but DO NOT pick a famous number to accompany it. If you're wearing a Colts #18, and it says "Pincus" on the back...yeah, that's just wrong. If you really must have your own jersey, pick a number that isn't linked to anyone, or go with the "00".
Stay away from "designer" jerseys
Listen, and this is mostly for the lady fans out there, DO NOT buy a jersey that is pink. Any jersey that does not look like a jersey worn on the field...just don't do it. I'm a big fan of throwback jerseys....alternate jerseys that are actually worn by the teams are okay, but they're really just a way to make more money off us the fan...but jerseys that are pink, or neon, or rhinestoned...just don't do it. My favorite occurrence of this sort...my buddy Scottie and I walked into a Burger King in College...one of the girls working the counter was wearing a Yankees jacket that was Neon green...and Scottie goes, "When did the Yankees change their colors? That's great." The Girl looked at him confused for a very long time...finally saying, "Oh, my jacket." Yep, true fan there.
Don't wear a jersey from a team not playing
Here's a massive pet peeve of mine...and I see it all the time...wearing a jersey of a team that isn't playing. At the Super Bowl, I saw this regularly, but forgave most of them. Saints, Ravens, Patriots, or Charger fans that had gotten tickets hoping their team was going to make it, and then saying "ah hell, I'm going anyway"...and choosing to show support for their team...while I would never do it, makes sense to me. But I saw a guy wearing a Lions jersey...what? And it never fails that at the Seahawks games I have attended out here, there is always people sporting gear for a team that isn't playing...including a season ticket holder that always comes in full Vikings gear...yeah, that just shows the world that you're an idiot. Listen, if your team isn't in the game, leave the jersey at home...trust me.
A new game to pass the time
Finally, I want to propose a simple game for the next time you head out to a big game. Jersey bingo. The way it would work is this...each participant has a card that is full of the following squares (With examples from a Super Bowl XLI card):
Squares listing the main players from each team that is playing - Urlacher, Grossman, Jones, Benson, Moose, Kruetz, Tillman, Vasher, Briggs, Harris, Manning, Addai, Harrison, Freeney, Vinateri, Saturday, Sanders, Wayne, Clark
Alternate Jersey square - Alternate Colts and Bears
Designer Jersey square - Any "designer" jersey for any team
Several random team squares - Squares for "Any Saints Jersey", "Any Ravens Jersey", etc.
The way it would work, all players have to see the jersey referred to...can't go off walking around and then return claiming you saw a Vikings, Raiders and Texans jersey. And then, all the normal bingo rules apply. Trust me, if the cards are done correctly, this could easily pass the time before any big game.
When you prepare for the next big game, just keep these guidelines in mind, it will help you look the part of the true fan.
Julie Henderson
Lucia Dvorska
Did You See That?
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Comments (47) Add A Comment
Now what am I going to do with that 'Pincus 18' Colts jersey hanging in my closet? How'd you know?
Arthur Pincus
Total Comments (783)
you have a pincus 18 jersey too?
Jared
Unionville, CT
Total Comments (115)
Had. Sold it on ebay after this was published.
Arthur Pincus
Total Comments (783)
Jared, I'll buy the Pincus 18 off of you for $50....it will go great with my Dasgupta 54 Bears jersey.
Josh
Total Comments (5870)
Actually, the real rule, as developed by me, is that you can't wear the jersey of any player younger than you. I mean, how are you going to feel, 32-year old man, when you run into 19-year old Sidney Crosby in the parking lot after the game and you have the 87 on your back? Ridiculous, that's how.
And the cool bonus feature of this rule is that as you get older, you're slowly phased out of wearing jerseys altogether. What do you do when Morten Andersen retires? Time to switch to a denim shirt with the team logo stitched over the left breast pocket!
Or put on a throwback. You'll always be younger than Y.A. Tittle.
Mkrogs
Los Angeles, CA
Total Comments (3)
Nice, I like that addition. So my Payton jersey works great for years to come...what happens with a dead player?
Josh
Total Comments (5870)
Mkrogs: love the rule! Since everyone is younger than me I can never violate any of Josh's rules.
Arthur Pincus
Total Comments (783)
Fat guys can pull off a football jersey, but you haven't seen pathetic until you see a big porker walking around the AAA in a Dwyane Wade sleeveless job.
Most fun thing to do at a Heat game is to see which throwback Dontrelle Willis is donning; last one was a Howie Long Raiders jersey.
Howard Camerik
Weston, FL
Total Comments (123)
Uggh. The thought of it is just not pretty. And DWade must be so proud. On the other hand, good to hear Dontrelle stays true to his roots.
Arthur Pincus
Total Comments (783)
A few years ago, I realized grizzled old pros Kevin Garnett and Tiger Woods were my age. And new superstars like Michael Vick were basically the same age as my younger brother's stupid friends. It got weird.
I'm 31 now. A couple of years ago, I thought, you know how you know when you're old? When you remember coaches from their playing days. Thanks, Nate MacMillan! I'm old!
When the Steelers hired Tomlin, I told my wife, "Pretty soon, we're going to be the same age as NFL coaches." The NEXT DAY the Raiders hired 31-year old Lane Kiffin. Ugh. My hip started aching immediately.
As for your Peyton jersey, Josh, when he dies in 2036, and you turn 59 in 2038, we'll gather the committee and address it then. You'll probably get bonus points under the ultra-authentic throwback clause because that slick jersey material won't be recognized by Gen ZZZers. But for more immediate dead players, if they were older than you while playing, you're clean.
Also, let's not forget my other important age rule. Sixteen and a day, she's okay!
Mkrogs
Los Angeles, CA
Total Comments (3)
I would like to add to the GET RID OF THE PINK jerseys
Ms_Bearsfan
Indianapolis, IN
Total Comments (1)
I actually took a different spin (back in 1990 or so) where I took my favorite player's number (Dave Krieg) and had NO name on the back. Of course this sometimes leads to a bit of confusion (I've gotten the name John Friez tossed at me a couple of times), but REAL Seahawks fans knew it is Krieg. I've been contemplating getting a new style jersey again with 17 on it and no name...
Dave
Avon, CT
Total Comments (14)
Mkrogs...it's NOT a Peyton Jersey...it's a PAYTON jersey. As in Walter Payton. And I also am 31...so I'm safe with the Payton jersey for life.
Josh
Total Comments (5870)
Mkrogs: Your comments are great but allow a correction: Josh was wearing a Payton jersey not a Peyton jersey. He honored the late and very great Walter Payton at the Super Bowl. For more on why we love Walter Payton (taking nothing away from Peyton Manning):
http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/5056
Arthur Pincus
Total Comments (783)
Ah, ah, ah. The Pincus 18 talk earlier threw me off. If only there was some clue it could've been a Bears jersey. Something like...like...some bio profile mentioning Chicago somewhere on this page. Oh well.
Anyway, above rule holds. Sweetness was older than during his playing days, so you can feel free to wear his jersey in your casket at age 88.
Mkrogs
Los Angeles, CA
Total Comments (3)
Just want to add one rule. You have to have watched the player play. There have been many times when I have looked at Unitas jerseys but stopped and thought to myself, Ive never seen him play...he's not a favourite of mine. Thats why all my jerseys (Linden, Sanders, Manning..those are the ones with names anyways) have always been of guys I could talk for hours about.
loosemonkeys
Westminster, CO
Total Comments (111)
I like that the list is evolving...so the addtions are...
If the player is younger than you, don't wear it.
If you're a "big" man, just say no to Basketball jerseys
You need to have watched the player play, or at least know more than "He's good and wears #(fill in blank)"
Josh
Total Comments (5870)
Id buy a pincus 18 jersey to add to my collection anyday.
ptoney8
Total Comments (48)
Here's a fun game to make you feel old. You get a jersey of an active player, and now, it has BECOME more valuable as a throwback. That's the story of the Lions 84 Herman Moore jersey I got about 8 years ago for my birthday [it was a homage to my UVa roots ... frankly, I probably would have preferred a Don Majkowski, but my in-laws are from Motown].
Howard Camerik
Weston, FL
Total Comments (123)
Josh-
1. Fat guys should be banned from B-ball jerseys but in more general terms, jerseys should only be worn if the wearer has a remotely similar body type as the player. For example, at 5'9", 200 lbs, I should not wear a Mushin Muhammad or Devin Hester jersey. Skinny guys should not wear NFL lineman jerseys.
2. In any regular season or playoff game, I think a throwback jersey is good, but in a championship game, you should wear the jersey of a player in the game, hence, no Payton or Orton. Even if Orton should have been playing in the 4th quarter...
#3. I bought a commemorative Superbowl Jersey with my name and the # 41 on it. I think it's ok since it's not an official jersey and I was at the game...your thoughts?
TomK
Avon, IN
Total Comments (4)
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