
Earlier this week in a post practice interview, Terrell Owens spoke up on a topic that many players around the NFL have put their two cents in on.
"I dont get it, I pop a few pills, nearly kill myself, and only get a few days of media coverage. Mike Vick kills some dogs and gets week after week of coverage. ESPN is all over this. You know, its just dogs. Dogs, yeah, some dogs. Me, a (expletive) human being, and ESPN is tree hugging all over Mike Vick and his (expletive) dogs."
Owens seemed serious and disgruntled. Owens, a man of many words has been the center of attention at every stop in his career. San Fransisco, Philadelphia, and in Dallas. From standing on the Dallas star, to the sharpie, to the suicide attempt, Owens is always there. So, anyone can understand by now that when the spotlight is on some other superstar of the NFL, T.O. is probably chomping at the bit to bring it back to him.
"That's T.O. being T.O." said Roy Williams, the star safety for the Cowboys. "He wants attention, I guess he feels left out (Laughs)".
This brings up the question, what exactly does Owens have to do to get back in the public eye? All the recent media attention that have been appointed to players over the past few months have been: Tank Johnson, Pacman Jones, and now Michael Vick. Johnson has served jail time, and has been cut from the Bears. Jones has been handed out a season long suspenion from Commisioner Goodell. And Vick has been banned from Training Camp, and is likely to serve jail time. His future in the NFL, so far is undetermined. Owens quickly came up with his own solution.
"(Expletive), I guess I gotta go wild. Tank, guns. Pac, guns. Vick, dogs, and I guess T.O. blank. Gotta fill it in."
When asked about Owen's comments, new Head Coach Wade Phillips responded..."Huh? Really? I had no idea Terrell was aggitated by that. He better not do anything serious. We've got a strict camp schedule, and he's nursing some aches and pains."
If in fact Owens would make an attempt to get into the spotlight once again, the cameras would be there. And in fact if he tries to match the likes of Johnson, Pacman, or Vick as he pointed out, the police would be to. And that's one thing Phillips would like to avoid. Losing a 10+ TD receiver like Owen's would be a punch in the gut. Especially when he's already got a QB that pays more attention to a country singer (Carrie Underwood) at times than his playbook.
"I've got a new team, a quarterback that has still minimal experience, and a few division rivals that are looking great. Philly looks like a Super Bowl contender, the Skins look like a .500 plus squad, and you never know what Tom is gonna bust out with. If I dont have Terrell, then I can say I dont have an offense, and definately no media coverage. I need my 15 minutes to, Terrell brings the cameras" said Phillips.
The interviews ended with Owens just repeating the same thing over and over. "(Expletive) Mike Vick, and his (Expletive) dogs."
So, Owen's wants attention, and to play. Phillips doesnt want Owen's to bring attention to himself, to play, and at least some attention for himself. The Cowboys need attention, just not the type of attention Owen's seemingly is considering. It's been dogs days in Atlanta, and Terrell Owen's would like to beat that dog. Just so that it's on camera.




Anabel Dela Cerna
Ana Beatriz Barros

Comments (9) Add A Comment
Please, members of the Satire group, if this isnt what your looking for in a satire post, tell me. And if its not funny in any way shape or form, tell me.
To anybody else, this is just satire, its fake.
Mac Has Left FN…
Middle Of Nowhere, LA
Total Comments (9474)
It's fake, but it's quite plausible. To paraphrase Lil' Kim (his former publicist) T.O. has twenty-eight million reasons to want attention.
rbm921*
Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Total Comments (545)
LOL. Awesome. Right on the money.
DJTG_2010
Total Comments (5188)
lol. The funny thing is that had you not included the disclaimer that this is satire, people may have believed it. Good stuff.
Cardsox
Middle Of The..., US
Total Comments (10001)
At first I thought it was serious, but until I found out it was satire, I wasn't laughing. Good job, Mac:.
eaglemaniac814 BS…
Altoona , PA
Total Comments (1028)
You spelled expletive wrong...as well as a few other things...
Big Ben68
Total Comments (20945)
Other than that, it is pretty decent.
Big Ben68
Total Comments (20945)
I guess it would be funnier if it didnt seem so true. Nothin against you Mac, i just kept reading it and thinking, "he really would do something like this." Lol pretty good tho
ballplayr9
Fair Oaks , CA
Total Comments (539)
like ballplayr9 sid.
Keep up the good work
upstatebosoxbabe
Rochester , NY
Total Comments (864)
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