Krieger: A Hillis sighting?
By Dave Krieger
Denver Post Columnist Posted: 12/25/2009 01:00:00 AM MST
Peyton Hillis hurdles Dolphins safety Yeremiah Bell on Nov. 2, 2008, but seeing significant playing time this season has proved to be too much of an obstacle. (John Leyba, Denver Post file photo )
They tell me it's hopeless, not even worth trying. They tell me I am beating a dead bronco.
But this is the season for miracles, isn't it? If Peyton Hillis could just get on the field for an offensive play or two, just feel that pigskin in his hands one more time, what a special holiday season it would be.
After all, if a few words in the newspaper can help J.R. Smith break a season-long shooting slump, why can't they get last season's Broncos rushing leader out of Josh McDaniels' doghouse?
Seeking the wisdom of crowds, I went to the peeps on Twitter and Facebook for suggestions. They had plenty. In the spirit of the season, here are 12 of them, with appropriate legal warnings where necessary. No one suggested 10 lords a-leaping or nine ladies dancing, for obvious reasons.
What should Peyton Hillis do to patch things up with his coach?
12. "Send a nice fruitcake over to the McDaniels house for Christmas."
This is what I'm talking about. Nice, constructive suggestions.
11. "Hillis needs to buy McDaniels a Tom Brady jersey."
Well, it's the thought that counts, but I'm guessing Josh already has a Tom Brady jersey.
10. "He needs to find some way to show a link to the Patriots in his past. Perhaps he can fib that he once delivered Bill Belichick's newspaper as a kid. Get that New England pedigree, and he's in. Worked for LaMont Jordan."
Not for nothing, but when you're in the doghouse already, deception might not be the way to go.
9. "Tell Hillis to borrow an NFL Network microphone so he can tell McDaniels that he wants to win a monkey-fightin' game."
Hmm. Interesting, but I'm not sure bringing up the NFL Network again is such a good idea.
8. "Tell McDaniels to grow up - and be as mature as Hillis has been this past month in the face of indignities such as McDaniels calling a play for Ryan Clady in preference to him."
Look, this will only make things worse. Come on, people, we're trying to help here.
7. "Just genuflect and kiss his ring."
You know, that's crazy enough that it just might work.
6. "What are Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillooly up to? I mean, they could call up Shawn Eckhardt and Shane Stant and, you know . . ."
There was a suggestion in a similar vein about a certain former University of Northern Colorado punter. This is where the legal warning is required. And besides, advocating the commission of a crime is just wrong.
5. "Maybe some sort of highlight tape picking up short yardage in games and practice would help. Isn't Josh big on videotaping?"
Sounded promising there for a minute, but again, this dredges up stuff that's probably not going to help. The aim here, remember, is to get Hillis on the field, not sold to a league in the Ukraine.
4. "Hillis should tell Knowshon to never get the first down on third-and-short. Oh, he already did? I have no idea then."
Well, thanks for playing.
3. "Someone as young as the coach is can't think he knows everything. You know he is going to use him, as a secret weapon. Let's all think like the coach while he is hanging upside down."
I don't happen to be a practitioner, but I've heard this is good for you.
2. "Maybe a Snuggie for Son of Hoodie."
Now there's a constructive gift-giving suggestion.
1. "Talk to Dawk and do whatever that blessed man recommends."
Hard to argue with this one. With the spotlight on Brian Dawkins this week as he prepares to return to Philadelphia for the first time since leaving the Eagles, this would give him an opportunity to turn his attention to a troubled teammate instead.
Let's face it, with Correll Buckhalter healthy again - and returning to former stomping grounds himself - the chances of Hillis ever seeing the ball in Philadelphia aren't great. So, OK, it might take a miracle.
Maybe you think these suggestions from the people are unlikely to get the job done. Maybe you're right.
But keep this in mind: Nobody thought I was helping J.R., and he busted loose for 41. It's just that time of year.
Dave Krieger: 303-954-5297 or firstname.lastname@example.org