Shower at 3pm, leave the house by 3:30. Stop by the bookstore and head over to my favorite barstool by 4:10 to catch the season opener. Curt Schilling should be in full dominance of Kansas City with a three-run lead to back him up by 5pm. No sweat.
Good omens? They had the book I wanted. Bad omen: the bar isn't open for Monday lunch. No worries, I'll just find a cozy spot to watch the beginning game and sneak away between innings around 5. Curt should be on fire by that time. Not a problem.
Well, it's 6pm and I'm back home already. How that happened is a mystery to me. All things being said, the Royals should've laid down for the Sox somewhere between outs two and three in the bottom of the first inning, but Boston has decided to celebrate Old Fogey Recognition Day for the season opener. And aside from handing out Depends and Clappers, there's no better way to usher in the new season than by forcing Gameboy out to the mound to prove that forty doesn't have to be the end of a sporting career.
On the senior circuit. Maybe.
Enter Gil Meche. The $55 million-dollar-man with a six-dollar name made the vaunted Sox battery look like 51st Librarian Assault Battalion. Not a lot of hot lead headed down range. Isn't there a better way to answer a competitor's three-run rally than sending a threesome named Coco, Dustin and Julio to the plate? And whom was the expert who taught young Justin how to run the bases? There are no answers for these questions.
Gil Meche departed the game to a standing ovation in the eighth with a five run lead. A capacity crowd at Kauffman Stadium. For Gil Meche.
What do you call the K that comes after you get a Sombrero? I'll have to ask Julio, because you know that was on his mind all day.
Granted, with three more outs, the Sox could come back and rally this thing into the books, but I just took a muscle relaxant and have no inclination to sit here typing away when I could be horizontal on the couch. I guess this was just the last day of Spring Training, as they have tomorrow off and it's back to Kauffman on Wednesday. Maybe we'll consider that to be the real opener, or we could always wait until next week when they show up at Fenway.