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Bam!

| 07:35 PM ET  01.11 | [orchethtral muthic] Thcrolling text thayth: Hello. Thith ith a methage from Darth Vader. If you find the boy Ooh, thon of Aah, pleathe tell me by calling my intergalatic thpathe phone number at one eight hundred thix theven thix three theven theven thix. And then maybe we could go play golf or catch a movie or thomething. [end of thcrolling text] Darth Vador orderth hith trooperth to go to the North Pole and capture Thanta as a hosthtage. They would have gotten away with it, too, but Kanye Wetht didn???t let them finith. After about fifteen minuteth of Kanye praithing Ooh???th ability to tell the differenth between I Can???t Believe It???th Not Butter and butter, Beyonthe told him off and told Thanta that she wanted an original thong idea for Christmath. Kanye let Vador???th men go, and Thanta was taken hothtage. When Ooh, thon of Aah received word of thith, he concluded that it mutht have had thomething to do with him. Ooh knew that he would have to take part in an epic battle with Darth Vador, tho he took thome extreme ironing clatheth. He knew that thoth clatheth would come in handy. . Back at the North Pole, Darth Vador was getting impatient. "Where ith that boy? I mutht have him tho I can get rid of my intenthe body odor!" And tho, he uthed the motht originally named forth known to man (The Forth) to microwave hith deodorant. Maybe radioactive deodorant workth better. [Intermithion] Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it No one wants to be defeated Showin' how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right Just beat it, beat it Just beat it, beat it Just beat it, beat it Just beat it, beat it [end of intermithion] After Ooh'th extreme ironing clatheth, he had one thing to do before confronting Darth Vador. He went to McDonald'th and ordered unthalted frieth. And a thalt packet. He went to the North Pole and wath about to confront Darth Vador, but the cameramen ran out of film. Tho we'll jutht have to wait. Thith is a true account written I wrote this purely by prething each individual key with my nose. My nose started to hurt tho I had to thtop.