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Bam!

| 07:17 PM ET  01.13 | OK, so here's a list of some things that make me pensive: pet hedgehogs pet ducks pet dogs (they mess up the floor during early years) pet cats (get on my nerves....hiss! eaugh (shudder)) velcro (I wish I thought of this) banana chandeliers (don't ask, I saw one at a garage sale) Alvin and the Chipmunks (I hope their voices change soon) Wal-Mart (how do they get those prices so low) thin socks road kill (Who killed it?) vending machines (thanks, now some retail salesmen are useless) FanNation (no, just kidding) dictionaries (how come the word i'm looking for is never in the dictionary?) yearly dictionary editions (we come up with that many new words?) the internet (did Al Gore really invent it? because that's what I hear... ;) yahoo (just the name, who thought of it?) steve jobs (do you pronounce it "jobs," like occupations, or "jobs," with a long o as in bone?) this list why I didn't number this list Safety scissors (why can't they cut?) zombies (how do they accomplish anything at that speed?) tags on shirts (the ones by the neck, ooh, they itch) toes (why do we have five of them?) clickable pens (we need silencers for those) pod farms (the name, who thought of adding farm?) me (why am I here, why am I a human instead of a rabbit, or goat) extreme ironing (how much beta endorphins are released during this?) terminal velocity (I don't see how it can exist) birthday parties (at 14, I couldn't wait to be 15 [you know how it is] now, I just don't care) expiration dates on foods with enormous amounts of preservatives yeast (I like the word) compost piles (decomposers really want to eat that?) earlobes (are these here just for aesthetics?) I Can't Believe It's Not Butter (I just can't believe it) That's just some of it. If you read this, please comment below in some way shape or form. It would be helpful if you posted what made you go hmmmm as a comment. Do it. For the sake of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.