Kirk Barton: The Anti Vick | The Lowdown

There are many fans in Columbus who delight in the wit and wisdom of OSU offensive tackle Kirk Barton. He's one of the few athletes honest enough to look at a reporter and tell him or her, "I can't answer that. I'd get in trouble!"

But his answer to a question yesterday about the Big Ten Network illustrates why I want to introduce this young man to the nation.

He was asked whether he was upset that local fans would not be able to watch the game on TV because The Big Ten Network has yet to agree on a deal with the area's cable companies.

Barton responded by first assuring reporters that his Mom and girlfriend would be able to see the game because they'd be at the stadium. Then he said he doesn't need to worry about his Yorkshire Terrier puppy missing the kickoff because he's at the vet, and wouldn't feel up to tuning in.

Normally at this point, bloodthirsty reporters would bury the knife. They would demand to know whether that meant the Buckeye captain was heartless to the plight of the average fan.

But this is Kirk Barton, and following him on one of his detours is almost as fun as watching him play football.

"What's wrong with your dog?" came a voice from the back of the crowd.

"He ate some potpourri," he informed us. Barton was behaving like a grandfather who criticizes your haircut while handing you a hard candy or silver dollar, because he then proceeded to complain about how much his dog cost, but ended by sighing, "I love that dog."

In the past, Barton's said that, in his scarlet jersey, he looks like the Kool-Aid man and admits to being tempted to drawing a smiley face on his stomach to complete the costume. He's taking a course studying Medieval England and compares the offensive line to defending a castle.

Yes, Barton unplugged is pure entertainment. The lineman's one-liners keep the media in stitches, and he's a welcome change from some the athletes grabbing headlines today. In fact, about the only thing that Barton and Falcons quarterback Michael Vick have in common is that they're at the best when they go off script.

(For more on the Buckeyes, feel free to check out this website: http://www.buckeyegridguide.com/interviews.htm)