The Drunken Ramblings of a Penguin

I’ve been away too long…not a minute goes by that I don’t sit up in a cold sweat wondering “What in the name of all things holy happened last night”.  After I blearily look around my surroundings and get my bearings…I usually roll back over and fall into a deep sleep…only to wake up about 15 minutes later and do the whole thing over.  Ah, rehab, it’s a great thing.

Anyway, I’m sober now…well, at least according to my parole officer I am…yeah, the parole thing is a whole other story…don’t want to get into that just yet…but walked into a bar drunk with a duck under one arm and a “lady of the night” on the other…yada yada yada…got 3 months in a cell.

But really, since I’ve been away…has anything happened in the world of sports?  Well, let me see if I can remember everything…

In the NBA…there was a lot of blood…a lot of whinning…and some terrible officiating…and the Spurs won.  Seems like a “per usual” season there.

In the MLB…Bud is clueless…Barry is a jerk…Red Sox-Yanks...there are some teams out west that no one really pays attention to…status quo again.

In the NFL…well…lots of arrests…a bunch of holdouts…some injuries…Vick taking up more spotlight than he deserves for his accomplishments…hohum, nothing new there.

In the NHL…ah, who am I kidding…don’t care, never have, never will…so same o same.

That’s the amazing thing with sports…we debate till we’re blue in the face…and yet, at the end of the day…even after 6 months in jail and court ordered rehab…it’s all the same.  But with the clarity of sobriety…however temporary it is this time…that’s why sports are so great.  In this world of ever changing landscapes…of political turmoil…of war, debt, poverty, and starvation…sports is always there…there to take our mind off whatever it is that troubles us.  A Democrat and Republican cease to be if they both root for the same team…when the game is on, all else is forgotten…the whole of your being is focused on the outcome of the next play.

After the game, or season, we’ll go back to hating each other, abusing our bodies, and destroying the world…but even if it’s just for a second, sports makes us better people.

You’re going to say, “how do sports make us better people?”  It gives a group of people that have no common bound, a reason to be a group.  Next time you’re at a game…look around…all classes, races, religions, ethnicities and yes, even species will be represented there.  All screaming their heads off for a bunch of men or women wearing a particular color of clothes…and as silly as it sounds…it gives them all reason to talk to each other.

And getting to know your fellow man…or Penguin…makes the world a better place.  Even if it’s only for a couple hours…

Holy shinikies….what the heck just happened…what in Chilly Willy’s name did I just say?  Jeez…someone get me a bottle of Tangeray stat!!  And you, yes you, the pale, chubby kid…yeah, run to the store and get me a bottle of tonic water.  This rehab thing is for the birds…ah, crude..pun not intended….man, I need a drink.


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