The Truth
This one's for you Seattle fans...Going through my old sports jerseys it is hard to ignore the pattern found in my favorite teams and players... We won't even get into my streak in elementary school that consisted of every teacher of mine quitting the year after teaching me, one going to work at the zoo, and the mall Santa Claus and my physician being accused as child molesters... No we won't go there, instead we'll analyze my relationship with sports through the jerseys I have owned and see where things have gone. Submitted for your approval:

Jersey - After my ownership

Ken Griffey Jr. - Left Seattle & began a long string of injuries.
Gary Payton - Lost in finals, left to the hated Lakers and finally won a title with Miami, the furthest possible team away from Seattle.
Nate McMillan - Retired, coached Sonics, jumped ship for Portland.
Hersey Hawkins - Left for the Bulls, no championships, retired.
Rashard Lewis - Left to Orlando, second furthest team away from Seattle.
Reggie White - Won championships with a rival team, retired, passed away.
Randall Cunningham - Second string in Minnesota, no championship, retired.
Jevon Kearse - Has not played a full season since, injuries, no championship.
Samari Rolle - Went to Baltimore a rival that I hate, no championship
Eddie George - Concussion in playoffs, no championship, retired
Mike Vick - On his way to a federal penitentiary soon for dog fighting charges
Koren Robinson - Drops, rehab, special teams, probably more rehab
Marcus Trufant - Been getting torched ever since, lost Super Bowl
Michael Boulware - Played well, lost Super Bowl, got benched, traded to Texans
Darrell Jackson (not exactly mine) - Lost Super Bowl, traded to 49ers
Shaun Alexander - Lost Super Bowl, broken foot, awful season
D.J. Hackett - Pending

A veritable 'Hall of Shame & Failure' really... I'd like to apologize to the athletes on this list, especially D.J. Hackett who has no idea how far south his life is about to head. Now, let's just take a comical look at the status of major championships in Seattle sports history...

1916-1917 Seattle Metropolitans win Stanley Cup, becoming the first American team to do so
1918-1919 Seatle Metropolitans end Stanley Cup series tied 2-2-1 due to an influenza epidemic
1919-1920 Seattle Metropolitans lose Stanley Cup finals to Ottawa Senators
1924 Seattle Metropolitans last year in existence.
1977-1978 Seattle Supersonics lost NBA Finals
1978-1979 Seattle Supersonics won NBA Finals
1995-1996 Seattle Sonics lost NBA Finals
2004 Seattle Storm win WNBA Finals
2008/2009 Seattle Sonics & Storm will leave Seattle

As you can see my hometown is the proud owner of three major(ish) championships, and as soon as the Sonics/Storm skip town we'll officially have none of those teams left.

Yes, there was the 1991 championship by the Huskies right? That was definitely a shared championship which I can only assume happened because the UW can't leave town. It's ridiculous, that's all there is to say. Red Sox fans, Cubs fans, all you fans out there that claim to be life-long losers can go on and take your pity party elsewhere because Seattle, my home, has proven that they are the champions of un-success when it comes to sports.

Enjoy the Mariners choke job for the rest of the season, it was fun wasn't it?


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