EVERYBODY LOVES CHRIS?
2006 yards rushing, 2509 yards from scrimmage and ran for 100 yards in eleven straight games, congratulations Chris!
Bravo! Well done Chris. Your accomplishments are a feat that only six others have done before you.
Chris? Hmm. I'm drawing a blank. Chris... Evert? ...Chelios? ...Paul? ...Webber?
Nope, think back.
Chris...ty Mathewson, the Hall-of-Fame pitcher?
Not that far back!
I'll give you a hint. He's alive and quite entertaining!
Chris Brown? I just love his song, Kiss Kiss with T-Pain.
No, it's not him.
Nope. You want another hint?
What's this, 20 questions, or something?
I'm not playing your silly game; I give up.
Chris Johnson, the NFL All-Pro, Player-of-the-Year, running back for the Tennessee Titans!
Oh, that Johnson! Isn't he still part of "Smash and Dash," with LenDale White?
No, not after the year he had, he's trying to distance himself from that; he wants to establish his own identity--- you know, be his own man.
I don't blame him, way to go... Chris? On second thought...
Yeah, Chris... It's about as generic a name as they come!
What about Johnson?
A search of current NFL players finds 31 Johnsons, including receivers, Andre, of Houston and Calvin of Detroit. Not to mention, that there are two other Chris Johnson's currently playing, one a defensive back for Oakland and one a lineman for Dallas!
What about Chad Ochocinco, even he changed his name from Johnson
Chris definitely needs a nickname.
I agree; let's Google his name, maybe we'll come up with something?
Look! Here's a list.
"Make 'em Miss"
"Every Coaches Dream"
Really, that's what people are proposing as his nickname?
I guess so.
I don't like any of them! "Twitch," sounds like a serial murder horror flick with a itchy trigger finger.
"Cop Speed?" C'mon! Not with all the speeding tickets and arrests in the NFL.
"#1 Unstoppable," maybe if you're a hurricane named Katrina? Besides, he would be a marked man with that nickname.
What about, "Make ???em Miss?" He did tear off a 91 yard run against Houston, an 89 yard blast-off versus Jacksonville and put an 85 yard stunner against St. Louis.
"Make ???em Miss" Chris? It sounds too feminine. Besides, what if he gets tackled for a loss?
Then what about, "Every Coaches Dream?"
What if he gets busted for drunk driving, assaulting someone, or worse? Is he still "Every Coaches Dream?" He could turn out to be a nightmare!
Yeah, look at Tiger Woods. On the outside, everything looked fine, but peel back the layers, and "oh, look what we uncovered!"
Every human being has flaws.
Good point! Then what should his nickname be?
Why does he have to have a nickname?
The five other 2000 yard rushers did.
O.J. Simpson in 1973, was known as, the "Juice." In 1998, Terrell Davis was known as, "T.D." In '97 Barry Sanders was known simply as, "Barry." Jamal Lewis in 2003 was the "Ghost" and in 1984 Eric Dickerson was known as, "e-Dick."
Uh, ...scratch that last nickname!
Yeah, sounds like a gay porno website.
Then what should Chris Johnson be nicknamed? C.J.....
I got it! CJ-7.
Civilian Jeep, 7th generation.
Remember the powerful, open air, all-wheel drive, 304 horsepower V-8, Jeep?
They were great!
But, what does a Jeep and Chris Johnson have in common?
Both are powerful, fun to drive and can score.
You're right! That's it! Chris Johnson, CJ-7! Touchdown! 7 points!
Copyright 2010 Steve Kay