Sneaky Pete's Completely Unprofessional Opinion
  • 01:13 PM ET  10.02
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9

Front Office & Coaches

Jerry: 

-You've got a lot of work ahead of you.  If the QB situation doesn't pan out this season, you better be BRILLIANT this offseason.  Just to be safe, it might be time to dust off the old resume'.

Lovie: 

- Yes, we know the offense stinks.  We want to know what you are going to DO about it.

- With the loss to the Lions, your entire season has come down to one game against the Packers in Lambeau Field.  Your team had better be ready to play next Sunday.

- If your team DOESN'T win against the Packers, you might as well start playing some young guys. 

- Your fans will be interested to see what Kyle Orton can do at some point this season.  I guarantee it.

Ron: 

- Your offense stinks and it's killing the defense.  Make it better. 

- You might want to think about finding ways to getting better performance from the following players:  Fred Miller, John Tait, Ruben Brown, Mushin Muhammed, and Bernard Berrian.  They are not playing well consistently, and some of them aren't playing well at all.

- You spoke about how Greg Olsen was going to create mismatches with the opponents' defenses.  Here's a clue: Olsen can only create mismatches when he's IN THE GAME! 

- Devin Hester was touted as an incredible threat in the open field.  I saw ONE WR screen and ONE fake reverse Sunday.  I don't think you're trying very hard to work him into the offense at all.  W-T-F?

- Fake reverses are neat, but you have to run at least one reverse for positive yards before the defense will actually bite on the fake.  It's silly, I know, but that's how it works.

- With your line performing so badly, why isn't Adrian Peterson getting more snaps?  He's the back that can make positive yards out of nothing, not Cedric Benson.  Benson needs a crease to run through.

Bob: 

- Your defense gave a noble effort Sunday, you need to pat some butts. 

- Keep using that sideline energy to get those young guys pumped up and playing beyond their potential.

- McGowan and Williams looked good in back up work Sunday. 

- Your D-Line is performing well too.

Dave: 

- Your unit looks AWESOME!  A blocked field goal in every game so far this season & two touchdowns on returns by Devin Hester?  Goodness. 

- If there is an award for Assistant Coach of the Year, you are on pace to win it, man.

Players

 

Brian G.: 

- The fans will be happy if you post a QB rating of 80 or higher.  You're trying too hard.  Take baby steps, man.

O-Line:

- Your job is to keep the defense off your QB and to create openings for the RBs.  You're not getting it done.

Olin:

- You're a team captain.  Get your unit firing off the ball!  Move some people out of the way.  Smash some mouths!  My God man, this is the BEARS!

Cedric:

- Your job is to hold onto the ball and create something when there's nothing there.  You're not doing that.

Moose:

- One beautiful TD catch, and a couple more decent grabs?  That would be okay if you being paid to be a possession receiver.  The Bears are paying you too much money to see that kind of output in the fourth game of the season after a disappointing start. 

- Oh yeah, you need to get open more often too...

Bernard:

- What's with all the drops, man?  You were supposed to have a breakout season.  You're going to get popped, just hold on to the ball!

D-Line:

- Nice job, guys.  Really. 

- We could've used more pressure on the QB in the fourth quarter, but I'm guessing you guys were gassed because you were on the field for so long.  Be sure to thank Ron & Brian for that this week.  Maybe you should put Icy Hot in their jock strap/jockey shorts.  It's a good way to send someone a message and it doesn't leave any permanent marks.

Adwale: 

- You were MY pick to click this season, and you're not disappointing.  Keep it up!

Mark:

- Nice game last Sunday.

- We're going to need you this week.  BIG TIME!

Alex: 

- I'd like to see you bring Favre down a couple times next Sunday.

Tommie:

- See my comment for Alex above.

- Nice game last week playing injured.

Darwin:

- Get Favre!

Brian U.:

- Don't beat your unit up too much.  Everyone knows the offense is killing you guys with their inability to hold on to the ball.

Jamar:

- Three tackles, one assist, and one sack?  Not a bad start.  Pretty good, really.  A good way to begin your career.  Now build on that.

Young Guys in the Secondary:

- You guys filled in better than I thought you would.  Keep working hard and you will perform better in the fourth quarter.

Brandon:

- I heard you were a good tackler.  You didn't disappoint Sunday.  Keep it up!

Devin:

- Congratulations!  You are the most consistent scorer on the Bears thus far this season.  We are all in awe of your ability in the return game!  Please for the sake of Bears fans everywhere, do whatever it takes to get involved in the game on offense!  I mean REALLY involved...

 

Sincerely,

Sneaky Pete

October 2, 2007  01:19 PM ET

WTF? I guess bullet points don't work here... :(

October 2, 2007  01:48 PM ET

You need to join up with Josh and Dan and make the worlds longest 3 person blog.LOL just kidding Pete.

October 2, 2007  02:07 PM ET

Here's another one:

Jerry - hire a couple of defensive guys for depth this week. A few more plays off for the starters, and you would have won that game.

October 2, 2007  03:43 PM ET

I hear you Harry. I'm going to get yelled at by my girlfriend (and maybe Arthur Pincus too) for writing such a long blog...

Dan: Good one. Why didn't *I* think of that... ;)

October 2, 2007  06:59 PM ET

Great one Pete, did you get a laugh as I did when Brad Biggs asked Lovie if he would consider hiring an offensive consultant at his press conference

October 2, 2007  11:21 PM ET

Yes. :D

October 4, 2007  08:02 AM ET

Wait a sec...what are you saying Harry! HAHAHa

Another note to Jerry would read like...

"- You've proven that you can unearth talented Defenders in all rounds of the draft...um...what about offense?"

Looking around the Bears, there is 1 offensive weapon right now, Berrian. Olsen needs to play more, but looks like he'll be one as well...and that's it. So the question is, do we get a QB, RB or just the best offensive player available in the draft?

October 4, 2007  12:13 PM ET

Thanks for reading my blog, Josh. :)

My answer would be: "We'll start by re-vamping the O-Line."

I think it's fairly obvious at this point that they stuck with the grizzled veterans for one too many seasons on that line.

C.B. is not as bad as everyon thinks he is. I think he'll get on track, he just needs to see some more daylight to get started. He has a lot of potential, Bears fans are just getting impatient because the passing game is so awful right now.

The Bears' running game was at approximately the same point last year, the only difference was that Rex was lighting up the scoreboard with an insane passing attack.

 
October 11, 2007  06:16 PM ET

I take back what I said here about CB after the Bears-Packers game...

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