Dunson Checks In

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE DUNSON FILES from Part 1. PARENTAL DISCRETION NOT ADVISED. In my desperate attempts to revolutionize something, anything I've attached creepy, foreboding conspiracy music to play while you read. It's for the effect. Hopefully reading music becomes the new 3D for Internet print. 

The odds seem slimmer than Reggie Miller on a hunger strike but the Wizards secretly possess the cap space to sign one Lebron James.  Imagine President Obama cheering King James from the sideline.   Last month, shaman Miss Cleo detected what Tim Legler, J.A. Adande and Chris Broussard never thought was possible. In April, the clairvoyant Jamaican predicted on the 4 Letter Network that Lebron James would sign with the Washington Wizards. 

Imagine the five star effect of Lebron, Ovechkin, Strasburg, Harper and Wall in the nation's capital.  At its core, D.C. is a basketball city. The emergence of Andray Blatche, the addition of Lebron's protege John Wall, makes D.C. more appealing to the King. 

Wall is just as connected with the Man Behind the Curtain, William Wesley as Lebron and Kentucky's head basketball cashier err... coach, John Calipari.  This William Wesley character is the "Most Mysterious Man in the World" Like Tommy from Martin, nobody including ESPN's Rob Parker, a close confidante is sure how he gets paid yet GQ once profiled him as the "Most Powerful Man in Sports".

Scoop Jackson once called Nike founder Phil Knight the most powerful man in sports next to Wesley.    He's even spread into the realm of hip hop, bringing rapper Drake to perform at Midnight Madness for the University of Kentucky. Connecting the dots yet?

Over the years, Wes has been spotted hugging Jerry Jones on the field after a Cowboys Super Bowl win, high-fiving University of Miami football players after a national championship win, and embracing Joe Dumars after the Pistons won the NBA Finals. He's been spotted sitting next to Jay-Z at the NBA All-Star Game, with Nike czar Phil Knight at the Final Four, and trolling the sidelines of Team USA practices in Las Vegas and Japan.

Very few people, even Wes' friends, are able to describe his role. Chicago Sun-Times writer Lacy Banks recalls his confusion upon meeting Wes twenty years ago: "I thought he worked for the Secret Service or the FBI or the CIA. Then I thought he was a pimp, providing players with chicks, or a loan shark or a bodyguard or a vice commissioner to the league." The few people who know what Wes is really up to aren't talking. And that's the way Wes likes it.

Many of the stories circulating about Wes are sensationalistic: He was a guest at Frank Sinatra's funeral. He worked as an operative for his close friends Bill and Hillary Clinton. Spike Lee is planning a movie about his life. Of all the rumors, the movie seems to make the most sense, because the story of how William Sydney Wesley, the child of a middle-class family from southern New Jersey, turned himself into Worldwide Wes is such a perfect realization of the modern American dream full of old-fashioned wheel-greasing, hustling, and social climbing that it feels like it was written for the big screen.

Recalling that early period, 2 Live Crew frontman Luther Campbell tells me, "My claim to fame is that I took Wes on his first flight on a jet. We went to the NBA All-Star Game, we went to the University of Miami games, we went everywhere. We were at a Mike Tyson fight in Atlantic City, and Wes took me back into the casino vault! With the money! You only get to go back there if you're an employee or you're one of the boys." I said, "Oh, my God! Who the hell are you, Wes? What'd you do" And Wes said, "I just know everybody."

William Wesley has become the Chuck Norris of NBA euphemisms.  

This excerpt from GQ depicts Wesley as the the Don Corleone of the NBA and collegiate basketball.  Lebron James is Sonny Corleone, groomed to take over the business only to get taken down in his prime by the Celtics Family.  John Wall is Michael Corleone which would make Jay-Z, Jonny Fontane.   Leon Rose is the official consigliere between the four as Lebron and Calipari's agent.  Calipari has reiterated his desire to stay on at his plush job in the Bluegrass State, but if Worldwide Wes, makes him an offer he cannot refuse, would it be wise for his health to turn it down?  Even after the Derby, horses are big in Kentucky.

Wesley's influence has even powered Calipari's rise to the top of the coaching world.  Iff you're an elite recruit in college basketball, you seek Wesley.  Calipari's first topflight recruit to commit to Memphis was Dejuan Wagnerin 2000, whose father introduced Wesley to Michael Jorsan among other basketball luminaries.

The equation is simple.  Wesley=Lebron=Wall.

Bringing his two most prolific contacts to the nation's capital may be a carefully devised conspiracy to sneak into Obama's administration as National Sports Director, vault into politics and before you know it the man once known as "Worldwide Wes" is leader of a One World Government.  Don't you see America?  All those rampant conspiracy rumors about Jay-Z in the Illuminati, his odd reconciliation with Oprah around Obama's election are all coming to fruition.   Glenn Beck are you reading this? I can't find my chalkboard but the picture below. Not photoshopped.

Then again, I could be wrong and Wesley may just be the hardest working groupie in the universe and the only way a secret society bent on controlling the world's wealth and power allows Jay-Z in is if they need a theme song.   But I digress...

Now that the DC Bullets have John Wall in our aim, perhaps Wesley could nudge Lebron towards the city.  Hopes are just being conceived that John Wall and Lebron may end up playing in Washington come November, but Worldwide Wes sounds like the Wizard of Oz.

Now yank yourself out of that daydream, because Lebron coming to DC for anything other than a party is about as likely as the Lebron taking the White House Tour as a world champion in the near future or the Wizards taking Evan Turner #1 overall. 

For the sake of lowering expectations hovering higher than the lunar space station, I'm going to play devil's advocate.  As I said last week, having two dynamic guards sharing the same backcourt can get repetitive. It's akin to enlisting two men to hammer the same nail.  Someos hand is going to get in the way or crushed.  Perhaps Wall doesn't have it in his genes to facilitate a starving [jump] shooter like Gilbert Arenas. 

In Sacramento, Kevin Martin was jettisoned to Houston midway through Tyreke Evans' rookie campaign.  Golden State's Monta Ellis usually looks like he'd rather stab Stephen Curry than co-exist on the floor together.  It's another reason, why Dwyane Wade and Derrick Rose can never successfully suit up in Bulls red.  There's no guarantee, Wall and Arenas will ever share the floor together.

However, with 4 years, $80 million remaining on his contract, coming off a disastrous season, Ernie Grunfeld would be wise to re-invest in Arena's collapsing stock.  The Wizards aren't going to get anything more than stock in AIG at this point.  Once his value rises, Grunfeld could choose to sell, sell, sell for a dog pile of expiring contracts or a thrifty, post presence.  The more realistic target however, would be Chris Bosh.

But let's just say the Wizards spray bullets into a crowd of conventional wisdom by selecting Evan Turner.  He doesn't offer the same game changing element as John Wall but he has the upside as a young Grant Hill.  Unfortunately, for Turner, Hill never won anything on his own.  Turner is a slightly more consistent shooter but a point guard like Wall signifies a paradigm shift for the organization in style, pace and personnel.

On a side note: If Wall slipped past the first pick there would be 3 scenarios for the outcome. 

A)   Philadelphia takes Wall and trades Jrue Holiday who served as the team representative on Lottery night and appeared oddly relieved to be 2nd overall.

B)   Philadelphia falls in love with Derrick Favors or DeMarcus Cousins a #2 and New Jersey still lands Wall.  After not being seen for a week a disheveled Ernie Grunfeld and Ted Leonsis return from their secret vacation to Moscow the morning after the Draft

C)   Philadelphia's going to get more phone calls from NBA teams in the 5 minutes between picks than 24 hour "Make A Wish Foundation" telethon.

Ultimately, the Wizards are in dire straits not to have the fix in for John Wall.  D.C's First Resident brought "Change to America", but a slew of first overall picks and new regimes are set to bring a "Change to D.C. sports we can believe in."


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