In Tale of the Blog, Pablog invokes the conventional "Tape of the Tape" format to precisely compare two seemingly like or dislike entities. In this inaugural edition, Pablog only finds it appropriate to weigh two figures that have dominated his mind in recent days: the gnat (as in, those Lake Erie gnats that biblically plagued Jacobs Field) and Nat (as in, Natalie Portman). Enjoy.
1. More accurately referred to as...
GNAT: a midge;
NAT: Natalie Hershlag.
2. Once pregnant with...
GNAT: untold thousands of insect eggs;
NAT: Luke Skywalker.
3. Preferred section of the Bible
GNAT: Old Testament;
NAT: Old Testament.
4. Attached to...
GNAT: the face of Joba Chamberlain;
NAT: the face of some dude named Nathan Bogle.
5. Indebted Hispanic male
GNAT: Dominican pitcher Fausto Carmona, who appeared totally unfazed by its presence;
NAT: Spanish painter Francisco de Goya, whose muse she played in 2006's "Goya's Ghosts."
6. Degree of nudity
GNAT: full-on naked, all the time, as insects are wont to be;
NAT: only from behind, in the recent Wes Anderson short "Hotel Chevalier."
Edge: gnat, on the basis of commitment.
7. Caused a major shift in...
GNAT: the fate of the American League Division Series;
NAT: Star Wars fans' pantaloons.
8. Tears caused
GNAT: Yankee fans', after causing Chamberlain to lose control in the 8th inning of Game Three;
NAT: her own, after lecturing at Stanford University about microfinance.
Final Verdict: THE LAKE ERIE GNAT, by a slim margin of 4-2-2.