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As of May, the United States' unemployment rate has stalled at 9.9%, and the economy is in a bigger deficit than Antoine Walker's savings account. However, next month on the morning of June 1, the most high profile free agent class in NBA history will join 15.3 million unemployed and tip the scales further towards an even 10%.
Fortunately, their job prospects are slightly more lucrative. They'll land on their feet quickly. The seven most coveted NBA job seekers in America will command a golden parachute of more than $1 a in compensation per unemployed American per year; To get the jump on their upcoming windfall Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson and Amare Stoudemire have apparently organized an elitist millionaire's job convention.
It has been dubbed the Free Agent Summit but if we want to be realistic and stay relevant to current events and Elena Kagen's impending nomination to the highest court in the land (no not Denver's Pepsi Center) it should be dubbed the Supreme Court Summit. Just as the brightest minds in law assemble to alter the American landscape by deciding groundbreaking cases, the supreme basketball players in the world will reportedly congregate to alter the NBA power structure in a "not so secret" shady backroom this month.
And just like the Supreme Court, there will surely be intense debate surrounding their individual decisions. Two weeks ago, I thought I'd uncovered a vast conspiracy involving William Wesley, Jay-Z, Lebron and John Wall. And how does Lebron squash the whirling rumor mill? Lebron countered by leaking news of a meeting, and then scheduling a seance with Larry King's ghost. I tracked down the transcript excerpts on the Ghostbusters website.