FanNation - The Republic of Sport

October 19, Central City


In a shocking announcement today from the steps of Central Municipal Courthouse, the Flash admitted that he used steroids in the past.


"From 1994 until 2001, I ingested several substances commonly viewed as anabolic steroids. I also used HGH. I am deeply ashamed, and I ask for forgiveness during this trying time as I wait whatever punishment is coming," said Wally West, the man better known as the Flash in Central City.


West has been a fixture of the super-hero world for years. First entering the public sphere in 1975 at the age of 10, when he became Kid Flash, sidekick to his predecessor and uncle, Barry Allen. In 1985, after Allen's death, West took over as the Flash for good, making his identity public and going on to battle the likes of Professor Zoom and Savitar, earning him an adoring fan base.


However, allegations of steroid abuse surfaced in 1996, when West's powers noticeably increased even though he was far past super-hero prime age (at 31, West was practically a dinosaur). West, when he took over for Allen in 1985, could never run at the unbelievable speeds achieved by his uncle, and was limited to the speed of sound for years. However, in 1995, after a particularly vicious encounter with Professor Zoom, West's speed seemed to increase unnaturally, to the point where he was Allen's equal in speed.


At the time, West attributed his newfound speed to the discovery of the Speed Force, which scientists working at the CDC accidentally found in 1994 while trying to find a cure for the clap. The Speed Force is an extra dimensional energy force that certain individuals can access to run at great speeds. Deion Sanders was thought to have accessed the Speed Force on at least one occasion, two if you count while sober.


West also claimed that a super-hero psychologist had told him in '93 that his apparent inability to break the sound barrier and run at the speed of light was due to his fear of replacing Allen in the public eye.


Apparently not fast enough to outrun his past, the Flash's lies have caught up to him.


"I'm deeply sorry to anyone whom I've caused pain with my lies," said a recalcitrant West. "I have embarrassed myself, my fans, my family, and the legacy of the Flash."


During the hearing, the State Senator held up several bottles and syringes and asked the Flash to identify them. The proceedings went as follows:


Senator: "Mr. West, could you identify this bottle?"

West: HGH, sir.

Senator: And this one?

West: Standard anabolic steroids.

Senator: And this one?

West: Octopus Sterilizer.


It went on. Though Barry Allen passed away in 1985, the original Flash, Jay Garrick, whose aging process was artificially slowed down in the 60's due to exposure to nerve gas, had this to say about the situation.


"It's a damn shame, sure. I just don't understand it. Wally was a good kid, he didn't need steroids. In my day, we didn't need anything to make us faster. We went out, caught the bad guys, then went to the bar and got drunk. Maybe if it was a really bad day, you went home and smacked around the wife a little. But we weren't shooting any squid semen into our ****. I'm embarrassed at Wally, but more so is the fact that I'm embarrassed for him. He was a damn fine hero; he didn't need to cheat like this."


As a result of his doping, all criminals apprehended by West have been set free, including Professor Zoom, who murdered Allen's wife, and Zoom, who forced West to watch the worst moment of his life over and over again.


West will return to his residence in Central City until a sentence is handed down. He could face up to two years in prison if the maximum penalty is enforced.

This story first appeared at http://www.spredrex.com/.  Visit now for more news!