Trading Kobe Bryant: The secret phone conversations | L.A. Maven's Blog

Lakers General Manager Mitch Kupchak has been given the rather difficult task of trading for Kobe Bryant. Here's one of Mitch's rather typical conversations with another NBA GM, which I happened to wire tap over at Laker headquarters:

NBA GM: Yello.
Kupchak: Hey, it's Mitch, how was your offseason?
NBA GM: Pretty good. Watched a lot of hairy stiffs sweating over in Europe. You?
Kupchak: Oh, pretty good. Little stressful dealing with... you know who.
NBA GM: Yeah, what's his deal?
Kupchak: He's a competitor. He wants to win and he believes his teammates suck.
NBA GM: Which is sort of true.
Kupchak: Hey, that's why I'm calling. Are you interested?
NBA GM: In what?
Kupchak: In Lakers season tickets, Jesus. In trading for Kobe. We need to unload him like a stolen stereo.
NBA GM: Yeah, well, I don't know.
Kupchak: What's to know. This is a golden opportunity. Kobe will fill seats.
NBA GM: Maybe. What do you want for him?
Kupchak: Only what's fair. Make me an offer.
NBA GM: I got some draft picks laying around here.
Kupchak: We want Williams, Floyd, Smith and Curry.
NBA GM: Hey, jerk, that's practically my starting five.
Kupchak: So what? Kobe is the best player in the league.
NBA GM: Then why are you trading him?
Kupchak: Because he hates it here, alright? What do you want me to say?
NBA GM: Mitch, if I give you all those guys, Kobe will come here -- and we'll suck just like you do right now.
Kupchak: But you'll have Kobe. Pow! Think about that.
NBA GM: Goodbye, Mitch.
Kupchak: Wait, don't go. What about those draft picks?
(click)

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October 20, 2007 11:12 AM ET

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That's actually pretty funny!!!! Good stuff.

You'veGotToBeKidding

Seattle, WA

Total Comments (80)

October 22, 2007 09:09 AM ET

He he he, that was pretty funny. This s what people are failing to realize; other GMs are not willing to gut out their teams just to get Kobe. They would be in the same position the Lakers are in right now.