There is one nasty side effect to going 3-2 and looking absolutely pathetic on offense: severe apathy.
I mean, I was seriously struggling to overcome the inevitable letdown from the cream puff sugar rush - a sugary-sweet euphoic buzz and satiated fattening from piling on the extra yards. But at some point you have to step on an accurate scale and look in the mirror and admit - I'm slow. Balls are dropped. I can't score anymore. Not like I used to anyway, back in the 80s and 90s. There is no reloading - it's just one shot every couple of years followed by apathy and boredom.
I think I'm still talking PSU footbal but I'm not really sure anymore.
Wisconsin over Minnesota
Grue feigns shock and surprise.
Iowa basks in the glow of thier own greatness.
Penn State over Illinois - The Illini were simply pleased they didn't get destroyed by Ohio State and sense a vulnerable PSU squad. This could be an upset but I cannot envision it. PSU will struggle a little bit to run the ball but has more talent. Look for Bolden to build some much needed confidence and Kevin Newsome to see more action in a Wild-Lion formation. There isn't a QB controversy, yet. PSU won't unveil spread HD but look for some new wrinkles.
Ohio State over Indiana - Welcome do the Shoe, Hoosiers. Allow me to introduce you to someone you haven't met before. Indiana, this is Defense. Defense, this is lunch. Herron & Saine, enjoy your upcoming Co-Big Ten Offensive Players of the Week award. Mr. Pryor, enjoy the virtual day handing off and try not to get your bell rung.
Northwestern over Purdue - Persa will have another 80% day against the boilermakers. The Minnesota score was closer than expected and Purdue isn't much better. Northwestern plays down to the level of competition with wins by 2, 5, and 1 over Vandy, Central Michigan, and Minnesota. On second thought - maybe they just aren't very good for a 5-0 team. Oh well, one more week of pretending until Michigan State shows up next week.
Michigan over Michigan State - Michigan just scores so quickly in a boom or bust offense. Five punts, one fumble an 6 Touchdowns last week for the Wolverines. The total time of possession was 18 minutes for 12 drives. Of those drives, only one lasted longer than 5 plays. The lone 9-play drive ate up 7:24 of the 18 minutes of ToP. That leaves just over 11 minutes for the remianing 11 drives.
This will be close and I can not, will not pick against a team that averages 500+ yards of offense, can score any time, and can come back in less than a minute.
No. 1 Alabama Over No. 19 South Carolina - I take great satisfaction watching the Big Ten's two exchange programs have success this season. This is an honorary Big Ten Game of the Week. Unfortunately for the Gamecocks, Garcia is a poor man's McElroy and Lattimore is a younger version of Ingram. The edge goes to Alabama and the nation's best Scoring Defense (9.0 ppg).
No. 12 LSU Over No. 14 Florida - Alice falls down the rabbit hole to watch the crazy events of Wonderland. Do you have any idea how this game will unfold or what crazy wackiness will ensue at the end???? Neither do I.
It's like giving a chocolate sauce-covered fan to a daiperless baby. You have no idea what's going to happen but it will be a mess and it will be SPECTACULAR.
No. 23 Florida State over No. 13 Miami (FL) - Jacory Harris throws wide right, all night. It will come down to a last second field goal (doesn't it always)? It's up and it's....
I can't watch!
(Grue closes his eyes and listens for the crowd reaction)