There are many ups and downs in the life of a divorced father. I know I don't have it as bad as some divorced dads, but I also know I have it worse than others. I don't want to bore my few faithful readers with the sordid details of my private life, but I wanted to blog about something positive. I wanted to blog about something more important than just football or sports in general.
I'm not sure how to approach this subject matter here, so if I come off as overly sappy I apologize in advance.
I just mentioned ups and downs. Let's start with the downers. My son Michael loves football, just like his dad. He used to sit with me and watch bemusedly while I yelled at the TV and jumped up and down only to see the Bears pull out a close victory. He had an Urlacher jersey, and he was a Bears fan, but alas...
At seven years old, Michael's biggest male influence in his life is now his older half-brother, Tait. Tait is fourteen years old and has played football for four years now. He is currently a freshman and just completed his first year of high school football. He is Michael's hero. He is also a recently converted San Diego fan. Now Michael is a Chargers fan too.
Michael's teacher recently told me that Michael, while struggling a bit with reading, will read anything football related, and "Boy, does he love those Chargers!" I think she was expecting me to say that I was a Chargers fan too, but I kept silent. All I could do was sit there and think dejectedly, "Well he used to be a Bears fan."
He used to tell me that he was going to be a professional football player, but that he'd never play for the Bears. One day I asked him why. "Because you always yell at the Bears players, Daddy, and I don't want you to yell at me when I'm playing." I asked him, "Do I ever yell at you when you're playing flag football?" "No," he replied. "Well then I wouldn't yell at you if you played for the Bears either. I would be too busy telling everyone in the stands that you're my son, just like I do now." He took that in for a while and said, "Okay, well I guess I could play for the Bears."
But those days are gone. I can see that I am not as big an influence in Michael's life as I once was.
I take small comfort in the fact that, while the Bears are no longer his favorite team, we still share a love of football. Even if Michael never comes to his senses and returns to the Bear-Nation, we can have fun when the Bears and the Chargers play every now and again. I can take solace in the fact that he inherited his new favorite team from a young man who never really knew anything about football until I became his stepdad.
See, older-half-brother Tait is an awesome baseball player, but never showed interest in football until he met me. He was vaguely aware of football on TV, but really never played it until he played with me in our backyard. When I first met him, Tait was a Packer fan. We had fun with our little in-house rivalry, and I especially have enjoyed the Lovie Smith years! But I'm getting off the point...
Michael is not my little middle linebacker. I played soccer with him for thirty minutes Sunday, and (at seven years old) he ran me into the ground! He's too darn fast! On defense, I'm sure he'll be playing somewhere on the edge. He's my little outside linebacker right now. I love Michael dearly, and he provides me with a steady diet of memorable moments, but this blog isn't really about him.
I recently sat in a mediation session with my ex-wife and listened to her tell the mediator that the kids didn't want to come see me at my house anymore, and how I'm a negative influence in their lives. She was trying to fix it so I couldn't see my kids during the week. Fortunately, the mediator saw through the B.S., and I'm now seeing my little ones every Wednesday afternoon and evening. But no good parent should have to sit and listen to someone say the things that were said that day.
The only thing that kept me from coming unglued during that mediation session was the thought of my little middle linebacker, Anna. My little girl will turn five years old in less than three weeks. She's a big girl for her age (see my images), and with two older brothers, she's tougher than most boys her age. Don't get me wrong, she still likes to sing and put ponytails in her hair and play with dolls. (And yes, Daddy plays dolls with his little middle linebacker on occasion.)
Sitting in that little room listening to she-who-shall-not-be-named spew venom at me, I was calm. I thought about one of Michael's flag football games. Anna ran over to me and plopped down on my lap. She's getting so big that I let out an audible, "Oof!" Borrowing a line from my dad, I said, "You know, Anna, I think middle linebacker will be your position!" This elicited a chuckle from the parents who were sitting nearby. I continued, "Do you want to play football next year?"
To my surprise, Anna nodded her head. Then she looked up at me and said, "Daddy, will you teach me how to play middle linebacker?" I couldn't believe what I just heard. I looked down through misty eyes and said, "Sure, honey." It was all I could say. I don't know if she really meant it or not. She's never brought it up since then. But I know it's something she said for the express purpose of showing interest in something her Daddy is interested in. It was her way of saying she doesn't care how we spend our time together, as long as we spend time together. And it's one of those moments I will never forget for as long as I live.
Kim Cloutier
Jessica Hart
Heisman Moments: Closest Finishes
Back in Time: November 24
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I wish I had a Dad like you when I was growing up. Nice blog, Pete. Thank you.
Tracy00214-Is back!
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Devil woman...
Big Ben68
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^to quote Turk from Scrubs...
Big Ben68
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Hey BEN, grow some stones and make your profile public like even the women on fannation do.
Cassidy's House:…
Whatsittoya, NO
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Pete,
I can relate. This parenting thing, especially as a divorced parent, is just HARD.
I just keep trying to remember this when it comes to my son: someday, it'll all be worth it. Someday, you'll be sitting at Thanksgiving dinner, telling stories about when the kids were little, and they'll say, "Hey, Dad, remember that time that we..."
Kari - DaPrez
Geneva , IL
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Hey Pete thats great story...cherish it... my little girl was born three weeks ago...she already has here little bears cheerleader outfit to wear with me and my Urlacher jersey on Sundays!
Steveo16220 says:…
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I know how you feel about your boy being a Charger fan. It took me a looong time to turn my niece into a Patriot fan, but..it was worth it..;)
Tracy00214-Is back!
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Hey CASSIDY, lay off Ben, and stop talking about things that have nothing to do with ya!
EagleHater: Goodbye,…
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BTW,
Pete, terriffic story. It was really a nice tale.
EagleHater: Goodbye,…
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Pete,
I lost my dad 3 years ago this week very unexpectedly and your story reminded me of the great times my dad and I had watching football together. You sound like a great dad and I can feel your tinge of sadness. Your son Michael is at a very impressionable age and so it's normal for him to look up to his cool big bro. You're lucky his bro is into the Chargers and not some kind of illegal substance. Influential figures will come and go in Michael's life, but you will always be his rock. Take it from me - a good dad becomes our hero. I guarantee over time your boy will be back to being a Bears fan like his old man.
In the meantime, keep doing what you're doing. Keep pouring your love over Tait, Michael and Anna. Welcome the friendly rivalry. And enjoy your time with them. I'd give anything to watch one more game with my dad :)
FemaleFootballFan
Miami , FL
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Anybody who loved sports through a loved one comes around to their local team (or whomever that significant other's team is) eventually. I grew up in that area with a similar family situation. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan as kid, but my pops and other signifcant figures were Bears faithful. I hated the Bears; they really stunk in the mid-90s. The White Sox, however, we both loved the most.
When i moved to the A, i didn't see him (dad) as much, but when we talked on the phone, it always involved the Sox. They finally won in '05! When the Bears beat the Saints last year, I almost teared up because I thought about how many important people I was raised by got to see that crappy team finally win again (nothing compared to the sox in that way, though).
But yeah, if your kids love the game, eventually they will pull for the Bears.
Deep South Sider
Atl, GA
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Sometimes, the brother is just "cooler." I played the role model to my little brother (nine years younger) far more than my dad did. So if it's any consolation, losing Michael as a Bears fan might not have been related tot he divorce. Still, you always hear about how rough it is on the kids, it's nice to hear a different perspective on how divorce is rough for the parents too. Well-written, as always, Pete.
Dan TM is Stupendous…
Evanston , IL
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You go Pete ! I understand the situation you are in first hand.Three years ago me and my wife got a divorce and shared custody of my two daughter's.After the smoke cleared and we were allowed time to reflect on the situation,we decided we made a huge mistake and we weren't happy being apart.We then reconciled and soon after had a son on Oct.13 2006.We are all living happily together,though not remarried yet.It crushed me badly not having my kid's there when i walked through the door every night,but now it is like nothing ever happened and we have a new member of the family.Someone up there smiled upon us and we are once again happily together.Your a good man Pete,your kid's can tell that and that is all that matters.Good luck to you.
Harry Callahan
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Thanks for reading everyone, and thanks for the kind words! :)
Sneaky Pete
Rochelle, IL
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If you can't tell Pete...if my little girl was ever taken away from me...there would a be a hole in my chest so large the whole Bears roster could sit in it. I know the feeling of having you heart melted by a simple phrase from the little one...don't know how you stay sane being away from them that much.
It does go to show how great a bond Sports can be...that's a great thing.
Josh
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Pete, that was a touching little story. I have a 3 kids and I don't know what I would do if I couldn't come home to my kids every day. The wife and I are having problems right now. I hope that it don't get to the point of divorce. Thats cold that she tried to **** on you like that about seeing the kids. No man should be taken from his kids. Just the fact that you are there for your kids is great.
More men need to stand up!! and be father cuz we already get a bad rap about not being a the kids life. Pete you sound like a great father.
To all the father's of fan nation, Break the trend be there for your kids. teach,have fun, and make memories. GOOD BLOG SNEAKY!!!!!
Dre Dilla
Queen Creek, AZ
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Josh: I know the hole. And who said I'm sane?!? If I get my hands on the mother who said that... ;)
Dre: Thanks. :)
Sneaky Pete
Rochelle, IL
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Great blog..., it really got to me. Gonna be a father soon myself and I know if that if I was ever put into a situation like that..., I'd do anything for my kids. My old man wasn't into sports that much but, I still spent a lot of time around him. Sometimes, it's the little things that really create a bond between son-daughter and father you know?
Kev316
Peterborough, ON
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Tait sounds to be pretty smart hitching his wagon to the Packer Backer Nation (even if he's converted to Chargerism, he'll switch back soon enough).
PackBrew42 is…
Miller Brewery, WI
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Man, I really wish I had a dad that was into sports though...thankfully I discovered them on my own (growing up, falling asleep in the summer listening to Bob Yuecker & the Brewers) and watching Packer football on Sundays.
Hooked my wagon onto soccer early on all the way to college and still love kickin the ball around w/ friends or even just juggling it in the air off my feet, knees, & head.
Hopefully I have a boy soon that I can make into my own little left (or right) wing midfielder...and be a Packer disciple.
PackBrew42 is…
Miller Brewery, WI
Total Comments (4060)
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