FanNation - The Republic of Sport

New to my blogs, you should read this first before reading the following

http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/74935

Tony Dungy is a class act all the way.  From sea to shining sea, his examples of purity and goodness beg for Americans to turn off American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and CSI so that they may spend more time in introspective self-evaluation and giving to dire cases of charity.   Of course, Tony will never turn down the media for a post-game conference.  However, your production-grade of press conference is a den of chaff to be cast into the fiery chasm of the eternal inferno.  And so, Tony hosts his own press conference, because he loves all of us.

"Tony, how do you feel about today's game?"

"It's difficult to feel good about it.  The Patriots are a good team.  However, we were very distracted.  At halftime, Peyton and I decided to go out and buy lunch for 1,000 homeless people only to find that my wallet was missing.  Peyton offered to melt down his ring to pay for it, but that was missing too.  The game means nothing compared to this."

"Did you know that Bill Belichick has your wallet and is wearing Peyton's ring?"

"Really?  Well, if he went through all that effort to take them, he must really need them.  I hope they bring him all the fulfillment that he seeks from those items.  I know Peyton would feel the same way."

"Do you feel that Coach Belichick snubbed you after the game?"

"I love Bill Belichick.  I know he had important things to get to, just like I do."

"Do you still stand by your comparison of Bill Belichick and Barry Bonds?"

"Look, I love Barry Bonds.  He may have strayed, but every man has a chance for redemption.  I think Bill Belichick does too.  You know what I think would help Bill right now?  My car.  Can someone give him the keys to my car?  It's parked in the back."

"Are the Colts piping in crowd noise?"

"I love the crowd.  They've always been there for us.  They were there today for us, just like they were when we played Pittsburth in the AFC championship a couple years back.  I just want to say that I love the Steelers, and wish them the very best this year."

"You said you love Bill Belichick.  But he's evil.  How does that work?"

"Look, sometimes you have to see past someone's faults.  I know that deep down inside Bill's layers of evil lies a softer layer of cynical indifference.  I just want Bill to know that I wish him all the best in his attempts to spread darkness over the world.  I would even help him, but I promised Congo that I'd donate my time to build a few hundred homes, and Peyton is going to be swamped nursing all those abandoned kittens back to health.  We're booked."

"How many kittens has Peyton saved?"

"Not enough.  I love kittens.  You can never save enough kittens.   The Patriots' bus ran over about 40 of them on the way out.  Bill was driving.  I know it was an accident though, and I wish the Patriots a safe trip back to the castle.  

Listen guys, I would really like to stay and answer more questions, but I have to go and plant flowers along I-65.  Email me your questions, and I'll try to get to them in between Giant Panda deliveries.  Thank you and may your travels be safe, your goals realized, and your families prosperous."

This concludes Tony Dungy's Post-Game Press Conference of Purity and Goodness.