FanNation - The Republic of Sport

Not much to say this week. Only sports-related thing I have to say - That Little Boy Coach of the Raiders better put Jamarcus in there soon, cause if we're gonna lose, I want to see what he has to offer. Not that I saw the last game - I was watching Colts-Pats like everybody else. But still......

Check this link for some links to youtube clips of beer commercials with babes

http://www.beerinfo.com/index.php/pages/beercommercialsbabes.html 

Beer Stuff

Beer Myth 1: Beat the Beer Belly with Light Beer

OK, light beers have maybe 90-100 calories, regular beers generally have less than 200 calories. A beer lover would say the difference is comparable to the difference between McDonalds and a 5 star restaurant. A dietician would tell you the difference is negligible. So unless you are drinking 300 beers a week, I would drink the good stuff.

Beer Myth 2: The darker the beer, the more alcohol it contains

Not even close. Guinness is black, and has 4.2% alcohol. The color of a beer comes from the toasted malts, which has no effect on alcohol content. Ingredients like rice syrup, honey, and corn syrup add alcohol to beer, but do not influence the color.

Beer Myth 3: Beer is ruined if warmed and then refrigerated

This can be true, if you do it many, many times, and it will happen gradually. People think re-chilling beer will cause it to be "skunked". Beer can be ruined by air, light and time. Temperature won't ruin a beer unless it's extreme. Get fresh beer and store it in dark place, and it will be fine.

Beer Myth 4: Imported beers have more alcohol than domestic beers

This comes from the way US beers reported their beers' alcohol content. The rest of the world uses "Alcohol by Volume", here is the US they used "Alcohol By Weight". Since beer weighs less than water, US beers had smaller numbers, but not less alcohol.

Beer Myth 5: The Guinness they serve in Ireland is better

It seems widely accepted that beer in "the old country" is better than what they export to the rest of the world. The brewing process is cheap, so why would a brewery risk their reputation by brewing a different beer for export? It doesn't make sense, and it's not true. With few exceptions, the beer that is exported is the exact same beer that they serve in the bar across the street from the brewery. The difference is purely freshness. It takes two weeks for a keg of Guinness to get from Dublin to your favorite bar in the states. Some beers, like Fosters, is brewed in Canada under a license for sale in the US. But it is clearly stated on the bottle when this is the case.

Beer Myth 6: Beer shouldn't be Bitter

The bitterness of a beer comes from the hops. Hops are in all beers to balance the sweet malts and to act as a preservative. Some beers have a lot of hops, like India Pale Ales (IPAs) and some beers have less hops, like Wheat Beers. Hops can give a beer complexity and add all sorts of flavors and aromas, like pine, citrus, and earthiness. Hops are why people say beer is an acquired taste, but they also make beer delicious.

Beer Myth 7: The best beers are in green bottles.

As it turns out, brown bottles protect the beer from the light much better than green bottles or clear bottles. This myth comes from when there was a shortage of brown glass in Europe after WWII. The European beers were bottled in green instead, so green bottles came to represent imports. This certainly isn't the case anymore.

Beer Myth 8: The Thai beer Singha has formaldehyde in it

It seems widely believed that Singha is brewed with formaldehyde, as is Chang beer, San Miguel, Vietnamese 33, and Singapore's Tiger Beer. The most believable explanation for this one is that Singha is much more bitter and contains more alcohol than most lagers. When American or British expatriots and soldiers were drinking beer in Thailand, they got drunk much more quickly then they were used to, and it was much more bitter flavor then they were used to. To explain this it was suggested that it contained formaldehyde. Crazy.

Beer Myth 9: Corona is Mexican Piss

 In the 1980s there was a rumor that Mexican workers were peeing in the Corona tanks that were destined for the US. Certainly alarmingly disgusting... if true. As it turns out this myth was started as a result of Corona's rising popularity in the US market, and who was jealous? Heineken. This was nothing more than a rumor started by a Heineken wholesaler in Reno. It all worked out, the guy from Heineken admitted his wrongdoing, and Corona continued it's rise to popularity. But the rumor can still be heard today in bars across the country.

Beer Myth 10: Women don't like beer

Thats crazy! My wife loves beer almost as much as I do. Women have brewed more beer than men in the History of Beer. Sister Doris in Bavaria brews Mallersdorf lager. Fortunately, this myth is far from true.

Memorable Beer Quotes

10. "Relax. Don't worry. Have a homebrew." Charlie Papazian

9. "If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs." David Daye

8. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." Tom Waits

7. "24 beers in a case. 24 hours in a day. Coincidence?" Steven Wright

6. "Alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just get this over with so I can go back to killing you with beer." Homer Simpson

5. "Beer has food value, but food has no beer value." Anonymous

4. "Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer." Freddie Freak

3. "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." Kaiser Wilhelm

2. "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." Frank Zappa

and the number one beer quote of all time...

1. "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

BONUS! Three honorable mentions from Dave Berry -

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."  

"When I heated my home with oil, I found that I used an average of 800 gallons per year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer."   

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

A little Beer site:

http://www.beerchurch.com/

Top 10 reasons why Beer is better than Religion...

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.

4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

Top 10 things about Beer vs. Women.

10. A good beer yields good head, but not all good women do.

9. You can share your beer with your friends, but you really can't share your woman with them.

8. You can hang out with your beer all night, and chances are you will enjoy the conversation.

7. When you and a beer are finished a new one is an arms reach away, when you and your woman are finished that arms reach will get you slapped.

6. Beer tends to solve all the problems that women create.

5. If you feel the need to try new beer, go down to the package store and look in the cooler and pick one. The only place I've been to where you can window shop for women is Amsterdam.

4. If you were to get into bed and find a cold beer would you complain? Now if you were to get into bed and find a cold woman...

3. Not only will beer not care if you spend the Sunday watching football, but chances are it was beer who sponsered the game.

2. Even if you have poor eyesight, beer improves your ability to spot attractive women.

1. Try finding the woman you want to come in groups of Six.

Here is some beer trivia to enjoy as you drink your next beer. Cheers!

• Germany serves beer ice cream in popsicle form. Its alcoholic content is less than that found in "classic" beer.
• In 1962, Iron City beer was the brand used to test-market the concept of tab opening aluminum cans. By 1970, over 90% of all beer cans were self-opening.
• Prohibition, beginning on January 16, 1920, lasted 13 years, 10 months, 19 days, 17 hours, and 32-1/2 minutes, and was rescinded on December 5, 1933, at 3:32 p.m.
• Centuries ago in England, pub visitors used a novel innovation that enabled them to get their beer served quickly. They used mugs with a whistle baked into the rim, the whistle being used to summon the barmaid. It has been suggested this practice gave birth to the phrase "wet your whistle."
• A beer lover or enthusiast is called a cerevisaphile.
• During the European Middle Ages and the Renaissance, beer was often a nutritional necessity and was sometimes used in a medicinal setting. It could be flavored with almost anything, from the bark of fir trees to fresh eggs and thyme. Everyone drank beer, including children.
• President Theodore Roosevelt took more than 500 gallons of beer with him on an African safari. Must have been thirsty work.
• Most saloons were owned by the breweries by the 1900s. The bartenders earned $10 to $15 per week, with Sunday bringing in the most business.
• There is an Egyptian beer, called bousa, that is brewed from millet and has been a favorite drink of many for over 3,000 years. Modern Ethiopia has a version made from wheat. It has been hypothesized that this might have been the origin for the word "booze." Other spellings used are boza, bouza, and booza. Take your pick.

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

THE BEER PRAYER

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.